If I were to ask you to draw a line on a plain sheet of paper and inquire: “Is it bigger?” You’d ask,”, relative to what?” I would say,” Never mind. Tell me is it thinner?” “Compared to what”, you’d query. I’d say: “Never mind, make the line darker than the darkest. You’d be puzzled: “What is the darkest?” And probably just walk off calling me crazy!
Balance is Defined in Opposite Experiences
You see, how these questions are natural, and how we need a point of reference to compare one with the other? Similarly, whether we need to explain our inner or outer situations, we need a point of reference. If, for example, I say, “I am feeling tired”, then, I am making this statement in exclusion to ‘rest’, which I already know of.
Knowing opposites are helpful, helpful in experiencing life. Opposites add meaning to our experiences, gives a point of reference as to where we are on emotional, mental and physical scale and where we want to be. If, at one end of the stick is one emotional experience, the other end carries the opposite experience; a contended life happens at the centre of the two. That is balance; balance is dependent on the two.
Nature gravitates toward balance, our inner being /soul too, yearns balance naturally. A bowl of water, when stirred, aligns back to its stillness/balance/natural state. When anger/resentment surges, start shifting the emotion to the opposite end of the stick; understanding/ compassion. At the centre, alignment is found, soul then rests, the body-mind complex feels rejuvenated, as opposed feeling fatigued.
In absence of opposites, a point of reference, our observations, life-experiences, expressions, lose their value. Know that all our experiences are important, even the bitter ones, especially the bitter ones, if we choose to find value in their role towards balance. Reflect: if opposites didn’t exist, would life hold any meaning?
In between the two ends- the problem end which always also has the solution end- all experiences were meant to be had. Because without them, the work of finding balance/alignment is just not possible. The sense of completeness will remain elusive.
‘Wear’ All Experiences
Even the harshest of experiences need to be taken with grace, because without them, we won’t have meaning, inspiration or attractiveness in life. Churning produces the nectar of life. Our goals, wishes, desires, exhilarations, learning are all derived from this push, pull and rub of life-experiences. ‘Wear’ all experiences to discover your aligned feeling.
More often than not, we expend our energies fighting a bad mood, a bad experience or an unwanted emotion, when what is simpler is to turn on the light, meaning, instead of fighting, just direct the focus on increasing the good mood, better experiences and positive emotions. A fight, inner battle or outer, consumes a lot of our life-force unnecessarily, a way lot easier is to tune to what is desired, what feels better and stay there, attuned. Instead of fighting darkness, turn on the light. For example, turn on the light of appreciation instead of battling anger, turn on the light of faith rather than warring with fear.
Understand that a) to be in balance/ alignment means not to get stuck to any end of an emotional spectrum, which most of us tend to do and suffer in the process. And b) move consciously towards the centre point, the feeling of completeness.
Exercise: Today, be mindful of your thoughts. If you catch yourself amid an unhelpful thought, stop. Take few deep, relaxed breaths. Flip the thought to the opposite, a helpful one. Shift emotion alongside, gradually, with feather-like ease. Feel the shift.
Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is an emotional healer and a forgiveness teacher. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. Her email: firstname.lastname@example.org