Kashif Siddiqui, account manager, Enterprise business group, Jumbo Electronics Co Ltd LLC, Dubai.
Be calm. Don't panic. Don't shout: Those aliens have travelled a very long galactic distance and they might be very tired and cranky. Your screams are the last thing they need.
Prepare yourself: In such a situation, opt for evasive action. Do not, repeat, do not try to be aggressive. You don't know the extent of their firepower.
Be objective: Not every UFO is an extra-terrestrial. For all you know he is just another earthling on his way to a UFO fancy dress competition. Make sure you know the difference before doing anything stupid.
Never ask for ID: Aliens do not need ID. All aliens have the right to check out neighbouring planets. So simply let them be.
Making contact: If possible carry a Geiger counter to measure the levels of radioactivity being emitted. If they offer you food, use a Geiger counter again. If it smells good, check its nutritional label and expiry date.
Be smart: At all times ensure you are carrying your health insurance card because aliens are known to conduct surgeries on abducted earthlings. Your insurance may not cover you for surgeries performed by aliens, but it can't hurt to try.
An alien ship is not a souvenir shop: Tempting as it may be, stop trying to see if you can steal some funky gizmo from the ship. Definitive proof of having made contact with them will only make you liable to be tried under their legal system.
Saying cheese helps: Instead of eyeing funky gadgets, put on a sweet smile and request a group photo. This way you can have photographic evidence of the gizmos inside the ship.
Stay mum: The best thing about having had an encounter with aliens is living to tell the tale but not telling it. That way you can preserve your sanity.
If all fails ... and you are abducted, do talk to them about human rights, 'Geneva Convention', 'Helsinki Syndrome' and so on. This might not make the slightest difference to them but at least it will make you sound intelligent and well-versed in the worldly affairs of Planet Earth.
- As told to Hina Navin
