We've all been there: A minor inconvenience explodes into a full-blown meltdown. But what if there was a way to manage those emotions before they control you?
Overreaction is when your emotions hijack your logic and turn a minor inconvenience into a full-blown meltdown. It involves heightened emotions, exaggerated behaviours and intense psychological responses, as Neha Golchha, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist explains. Overreactions are deeply subjective; everyone has different ways of expressing them.
For instance, Archana Singh (name changed on request), an Abu Dhabi-based homemaker was rather perplexed when her teenage daughter dissolved into tears after she learnt that there was no cake left for her at home; her sister had eaten it. “She was just so anxious about her examinations that everything seemed to trigger her,” recalls Singh.
‘Overreactions can be helpful and harmful at the same time’
Overreactions can be a double-edged sword. Sometimes, they manifest as explosive outbursts. You find yourself reading paragraphs between the words and jumping to conclusions. "What seems like an overreaction to one person might not seem that way to someone else, depending on how they see things," says Golchha. They'll believe their reaction is justified, blinded by their heightened emotions at that moment.
While these outbursts can be a sign of pent-up frustration, they can also be a clue to underlying problems. For example, if a person who doesn't ordinarily behave this way suddenly expresses rage because their favourite coffee mug is broken, it could be that something else is pushing them to the edge, explains Sonakshi Menon, a Dubai-based psychologist. "This outburst becomes the nearest outlet for them," she says.
This constant state of emotional overdrive takes a toll. If someone continues to express anger or sadness in these heightened ways, people around them will become nervous and tread on eggshells. As Golchha says, emotional balance and self-awareness are key to controlling reactions better.
Enter affect-labelling.
‘Labelling your emotions’
These flood of emotions can overwhelm you, like a rush hour intersection where irritation, anxiety, and impatience collide. In the moment, simply identifying what we're feeling – "This is frustration, not the end of the world" – can be a surprisingly powerful tool to regain control and avoid an emotional meltdown. This process of labeling our emotions is known as affect labeling, as the psychologists explain. It’s not about suppressing your emotions, but instead, about managing them.
“It’s putting names to our feelings. It’s a helpful trick to deal with overreactions,” explains Golchha. So, when we name our emotions, it helps to calm our brain down. “By knowing and saying what we feel, we start understanding why we are reacting so strongly.” This leads us to look for better ways to handle things, such as seeking solutions and talking things out. “So, when we can put our feelings into words, it makes it easier to explain to others what's going on with us. All in all, the labeling of our emotions helps us keep our cool and deal with things in a healthier way,” she says.
Affect labeling or just putting names to our feelings, can be a helpful trick for dealing with overreactions. When we name our emotions, it helps to calm our brain down. It is like giving ourselves a reality check. By knowing and saying what we feel, we start understanding why we are reacting so strongly. This can lead us to better ways of handling things, like finding solutions or talking things out....
It gives you a sense of control, explains Menon. “It helps you detach from the emotional whirlwind and see things a little more clearly,” she says. “It gives you a chance to understand yourself and choose a more constructive response,” she says. Otherwise, we tend to let our emotions take the wheel, leading us to say things we regret or react impulsively.
Does it help?
By simply putting a name to your emotions, you become more aware of what you're feeling. As you do so, the intensity of your feelings begins to ebb. Slowly, you dismantle the power of these negative emotions over you, adds Menon. As you keep practising affect labelling, you become slowly more equipped at understanding your own emotional triggers and patterns. This self-awareness can empower you to choose healthier coping mechanisms.
Research backs up these claims too. According to a 2022 study published in the US-based Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , people who labeled their emotions after viewing negative images experienced less physiological effects, such as rapid heart rates, than those who did not. Another study, published in the psychological US-based journal Emotion, found that participants who labeled their emotions after experiencing a frustrating task reported feeling less negative emotion overall.
Labelling emotions helps putting a ‘meta’ perspective, explains Robert Bryce, an American Dubai-based clinical psychologist. “It might give you the necessary space you need to take away from the emotions themselves and therefore you can react on a more rational ground,” he says.
Nevertheless as all the psychologists remind, it’s not a magical solution to all problems. Like any skill, affect labeling takes practice. The more you do it, the better you'll become at identifying and labeling your emotions, reminds Menon. It has to be combined with other coping strategies too. “Once you've labeled your emotion and calmed your body, examine the thoughts contributing to it. Are these thoughts realistic or helpful,” asks Bryce. And so, you start countering negative thoughts with positive self-talk.
