Bengaluru: Nine year old Divya (name changed) has never seen her mother and only rarely sees her relatives. For her, the only mother figure is the woman who picked her from the streets and gave her the much-needed love, care and shelter known as Sneha Deep (lamp of love).
For Divya and two dozen other girls who live in the care of their foster mother Tabassum, Sneha Deep is the only home.
Sneha Deep is an orphanage for girls founded by Tabassum in Mangaluru in 2011. So far, the orphanage has sheltered more than 60 girls, many of whom have graduated, got married and settled in life.
However, these are no ordinary orphans and Sneha Deep is no ordinary orphanage either.
In a society where relatives are indifferent to the needs of their kith and kin, where finding sheltering is getting increasing difficult for those without patronage, Sneha Deep is proving to be a sanctuary of love and compassion.
Providing shelter to HIV-infected orphans irrespective of their caste and creed, this Mangaluru institution nurtures and nourishes the little girls discarded by their relatives and abandoned by the society for no fault of theirs.
Finding dignity
Over the last 13 years, many of these girls have found dignified life, while many others have left this world with dignity, thanks to the valiant efforts of one nurturing mother.
“I have been in social service for more than 20 years. I used to work with an NGO as an HIV counsellor. Dealing with the victims and their families regularly, I had seen the struggles of these unfortunate people very closely. I always wanted to do more to help them, but with limited resources I couldn’t do much,” said Tabassum, who has received multiple awards and recognitions for her selfless work.
Tabassum has had to overcome great challenges to do what she is currently doing, fighting social taboos, discrimination and stigma associated with HIV/Aids.
Hailing from a family with limited means, Tabassum is one of the six siblings, and her family couldn’t provide for her education due to resource constraints. But, that didn’t deter her from pursuing her dreams of getting an education as well as helping others.
Throughout her early struggles, her father Abdul Samad was her constant support. What he lacked in resources, he more than made up with his energy, support and encouragement, says Tabassum, adding: “It’s been 13 years since the inception of Sneha Deep. Today, my father is no more, but it is because of his support and encouragement I have reached this far. Despite the discrimination and discouragement I faced in the society, especially because I am a woman, my father always backed me and believed in me and understood the cause I am fighting for,” said Tabassum, paying rich tribute to her father.
Tragic turn
Though, she is a well-respected figure in the Mangaluru philanthropic circuit now and Sneha Deep is a well established name, their struggle has seen no end.
“Taking care of 27 girls with HIV is not an easy task. Ours is a rented shelter in an old dilapidated building. The authorities have asked us to shift to a better place complying with the standards required for a shelter. But, nobody is willing to open their doors for these orphans,” remarked the mother of three.
Tabassum’s journey with the orphans began with a personal tragedy, when her best friend died of HIV, leaving a daughter behind.
“Losing a dear friend in itself was a great pain, but when I saw her family members and relatives unwilling to take care of her little girl, my heart couldn’t take it any more. That’s when I decided I had to start a shelter. I started with one girl, but soon I found many such unwanted children who needed care and I started taking them in,” said Tabassum, recalling the early days of the orphanage.
Sneha Deep specifically caters to girls, irrespective of any caste or religious discriminations.
“Being girls, we face a lot discriminations in our society. People constantly discourage if you are trying to do something out of the usual. But, it gave me a lot of strength and courage to go ahead and do what I can and prove my detractors wrong. I specifically wanted to work towards supporting girls because of the challenges we face in our everyday life,” said Tabassum, highlighting the importance of supporting girl children.
Joy and pain
The orphanage currently supports 27 girls from the age of seven to 21, providing them with love, food, shelter, education, entertainment and healthcare.
Several of the girls have acquired higher education and have found decent jobs, while three girls got married and are settled with their families.
“We have government permission to take care of children up to the age of 18 years, after that we have to apply for extensions so that the girls could complete their degrees under our care and find suitable jobs. Once they get jobs they move to a hostel. The happiest moment is when they find their soulmates and settle down, we have had three such joyous occasions so far in 13 years, we hope to have many more such moments,” added Tabassum.
These few moments of joy and happiness are punctuated by many moments of pain and sorrow. For many girls in the orphanage, life is a constant battle against the internal ghosts, amidst the external strife they face regularly.
At Sneha Deep the uncertainty of life multiplies manifold with at least a couple of girls staring at death any given moment.
“We have had 19 deaths in 13 years so far and this is the most painful part. We take care of them like our own children and obviously, there is a great degree of attachment with each of them. There are memories involved and it takes a great toll on me and other care givers involved with us,” said Tabassum, highlighting the agony involved in the business of hope and joy!
Fighting stigma
Across the world, children of HIV parents and those infected by HIV continue to face rampant stigma and discrimination, resulting in families and relatives abandoning them. Without care homes such as Sneha Deep, these children are completely lost and are left to beg on the streets, facing constant abuse.
The discrimination and stigma continues despite regular awareness drives and educational programmes.
Globally, more than 38 million people are living with HIV, of these 1.7 million are children.
Even as HIV continues to be a major public health threat, the global response to HIV has suffered over the last few years.
Misconceptions, glaring inequality and indifference towards human rights are among the reasons that helped HIV spiral out of hand and become a global health crisis.
Adding to the already stuttering response and shrinking resources, are the relentless economic, social and cultural challenges posed by growing human conflicts and biases.
We can only end AIDS by removing the stigma around the disease, sincerely working on the root causes and by making treatment more accessible.
— Shafaat Shahbandari is a freelance journalist based in Bengaluru, and Founder-Editor of Thousand Shades of India
