Liar, liar pants on fire!
For those, wondering about the origins of this rather macabre phrase, a quick search tells me that the history of ‘liar, liar’, is ironically awash with mistruths and lies too. It has often be claimed, that it might be from the 1800s, with many researchers citing British naval ballads. However, the earliest full example is from the 1930s — specifically, August 13, 1933, issue of the Sunday World-Herald, according to the Atlas Obscura, a lifestyle and travel website.
In an article titled 'Fat Pat vs. Savage: A Match Fans Crave,' a reporter exaggerated the overwhelming public demand for a wrestling match between two contenders. According to the local promoter, the office had been inundated with letters, phone calls, and telegrams from fans eager to see this match. However, this wasn’t the case; only a handful of people had called. This news was followed by the cheeky defence, it is so, you liar, liar, pants on fire; there were several people who called up!
Well, we might never know the origins of the phrase exactly, but let’s just say, it has a nice rhyme to it. However, without the help of literary pyrotechnics, back to the question: How do we really know if someone’s lying?
‘Good liar and bad liar’
When someone lies, a polygraph, lie detector measures their heart rate, blood pressure, respiration and conductivity. However, the truth is, you might not need a machine to catch a lie.
Maropeng Ralenala, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist based at LightHouse Arabia, a wellness clinic points out the behavioural signs. “There’s a possible increase in perspiration, rubbing or wringing of hands, touching of the face, shifting of the body’s position away from the other, pulling at the hair, clearing of the throat,” she explains. Sometimes people will even attempt to get up and leave suddenly when telling a lie, as a flight response. These behaviours function to release the tension that one feels as they tell a lie. Tooba Siddiqui, a clinical psychologist at Dubai's Camali clinic points out a few more signs, "When people are lying, they might repeat the question back to you to buy time or use distancing language like 'he said” or 'they told me.' Also, hesitations or frequent self-corrections are a common verbal cue to indicate deception." she says.
When people are lying, they might repeat the question back to you to buy time or use distancing language like 'he said” or 'they told me.' Also, hesitations or frequent self-corrections are a common verbal cue to indicate deception.
There are 'good liars' and 'bad liars'. Elaborating on the terms, Ralenala says that it refers to their high or low ability to conceal verbal or non-verbal cues of telling a lie.
For instance, Akriti Mahajan, a Dubai-based homemaker says that her mother was the ‘worst’ liar in the world. “While fidgeting and stumbling over her words, she would try to prevent rather intrusive relatives from coming to our home with very poor lies, and get caught immediately. Once she tried saying, ‘Uh, we are not home…’ and to make the lie sound believable, she tried embellishing it further. She added this detail, ‘We need to go and look after my friend’s cats, and water plants’.” The relatives caught on immediately, because Mahajan is rather allergic to cats. “Worse, she tried changing it to dogs, and then frantically cut the phone, pretending there was a problem with the line.”
On the other hand, a ‘bad liar’ could just be someone who tells a lie so preposterous that you don’t even have to wait to catch the warning signs. For instance, a classmate of mine in school would stubbornly insist that Hollywood star Tom Cruise was his first cousin and was taking him to Italy for a ‘movie shoot’. Realising the story didn’t stand, even for eight-year-olds, the ‘cousin’ was rapidly replaced with ‘uncle’ and finally, Cruise was reduced to being a rather distant uncle who was too busy to visit his estranged family in India.
A little too eloquent?
Apart from trying to embellish a lie, other verbal key signs of lying include repeating a story over and over again with copious speech, or surprisingly, speaking notably more eloquently than usual in some cases, by using far more sophisticated vocabulary than they normally would do. A person’s story may also become full of qualifiers, or detractors for their claimed information, explains Ralenala.
Krista Reeves, a Dubai-based psychologist adds to this, saying that if someone has planned their lie in advance, they may have rehearsed their speech and thought carefully about how to present their false information convincingly. “A person who is confident in their ability to lie may appear more articulate and persuasive. They may believe that their lie is so well-crafted that it is undetectable,” she says. Moreover, people can use their eloquence to manipulate others. They may be skilled at using language, and emotional cues to persuade or deceive people.
However, as Reeves warns, it's important to note that these are not always the case. Many people who lie may become nervous or anxious, which can lead to stuttering, stammering, or avoiding eye contact. Additionally, some people may simply be more eloquent speakers in general, regardless of whether they are telling the truth or lying.
Note the voice
Pay attention to non-verbal cues like changes in tone, volume, pace and pitch of voice, explains Ralenala. “Someone who is telling the truth usually speaks in a consistent manner, whereas someone who is lying, is likely to have broken speaking rhythm. Finally, if you spot a mismatch between verbal and non-verbal cues as someone speaks, this may be a sign that they're lying. For example, nodding whilst responding ‘No’ to something.”
Ralenala also attempts to debunk a myth that people ‘look to the side’ or ‘away’ when telling a lie. “This is a myth, as looking to the side or otherwise, is also common when we are thinking. Sometimes someone who has a lie ready and waiting to be told can actually do the opposite of look away - they may make even more focused eye contact. This could be to check thoroughly whether you have bought into their lie or not,” she says.
How can I improve my ability to spot a lie?
You don’t need a lie detector, especially not in your close relationships. When you are overtly familiar with someone, you know their affectional, behavoural, postural and emotional stance, explains Ralenala. “The more time you spend with someone, the better you may be at recognising any changes in their behaviour or communication,” she says.
Explaining with an example: You may be well familiar with how a sibling sits and speaks normally. They may habitually sit quite still with their ankles crossed, arms relaxed over the dinner table while speaking with you. Being familiar with this enables you to identify notable deviations from this. If suddenly their feet begin tapping incessantly, or their hand gestures become unusually pronounced or animated during a particular topic of conversation, this doesn't necessarily indicate lying, but it will very likely be an indication that this topic has them off their base level or comfort for whichever reason. There can be several reasons for this, such as that they’re emotionally stirred, threatened, excitable, or, they’re in the process of telling a lie.
Another technique to catch lies, is to ask open-ended, follow-up questions and see how people respond, says Siddiqui. Liars might have trouble with these types of questions because they require more detailed and spontaneous responses.
Lying by omission and white lies
Sometimes, you need to read between the lines too. Lying isn’t just about what people say; it’s about what they don’t say.
Quite often, people tell a tale, and leave something crucial out, usually a detail that might implicate them, explains Reeves. There’s a reason why they do this: Outright stating a lie is a lot of cognitive work and people are uncomfortable, explains Ralenala. “People who lie by omission tend to be vague or elusive, using terms like ‘I think’ or ‘perhaps’ or ‘probably’, or excessive use of filler words such as ‘uhm’ and ‘ahh’.”
Outright stating a lie is a lot of cognitive work and people are uncomfortable. People who lie by omission tend to be vague or elusive, using terms like ‘I think’ or ‘perhaps’ or ‘probably’, or excessive use of filler words such as ‘uhm’ and ‘ahh’...
One example of lying by omission would be the jovial Uncle Ken from Ruskin Bond’s books, who didn’t quite correct people who believed that he studied at Oxford and played tennis. His audience was reasonably impressed that Ken was a man from such a prestigious university, and played sports, no less. They didn’t know one crucial detail: He once waited tables in Oxford, and played a ‘little’ tennis, once.
On the other hand, white lies are a little tricky. You would hear ‘a little white lie doesn’t hurt’, which could be something like telling your mother that you are studying late in college, when you’re actually at the mall with your friends. “Many will say that white lies can be acceptable, as these are the lies that are seen to be harmless and without damaging consequences,” says Ralenala, saying she doesn’t quite agree.
She illustrates with a scenario: Your colleague asks you if you like their new hairstyle. You might feel tempted to tell them it looks great, even if you don't think so, to avoid hurting their feelings. However, a white lie like this can lead to unintended consequences. Your colleague may hold onto a hairstyle that doesn't suit them because they trusted your opinion. This could negatively impact their self-esteem and social confidence.
Instead of telling a white lie, you could have been honest and kind. For example, you could have said, “I admire your creativity in styling your hair. You look great no matter what. However, if you're asking for my honest opinion, I prefer your previous hairstyle on you.”
Is it fair to judge someone's honesty based on their body language or other nonverbal cues?
Rely on your intuition, explains Ralenala. “Science and behavioural analysis can only go so far. Do not dismiss your intuition in detecting that somebody is lying to you. Consider it a light onto the path, rather than factual evidence that you are being lied to,” she says.
Needless to say, it is never right or fair to accuse somebody of lying solely based on perceived verbal or non-verbal cues. For instance, as Reeves posits, people tend to get nervous when they’re constantly ‘grilled’, even if they’re telling the truth. They will look flushed, worried and even look guilty, because they feel as if they’re in the spotlight. You need to employ your intuition as well as examine evidence, before making a serious charge. Siddiqui adds, "It’s better to use body language as one piece of the puzzle rather than the whole picture. Combine it with verbal cues and the context of the situation to get a clearer idea of whether someone is being truthful or not."
As the psychologists collectively explain, you have every right to your private reservation if you suspect you are being lied to, but ultimately, intuition or detection of cues are tools to help you navigate that possible risk.
