5 'relaxing' activities that could actually be stressing you out: The difference between comfort and self-care

What does comfort mean to you? 

Maybe, it’s lying in bed, listening to the rain falling on your window, or losing yourself in a book with your pet nestled next to you. Perhaps it’s a bowl of steaming noodles, music that lifts your spirits, or binging a favourite show. You could be comforting yourself after a difficult conversation with your boss. Or maybe, pampering yourself after a week of doing everything for everyone else. You are rewarding yourself for reaching a goal.

Ready, set, pause.

It feels good, but quite often, it isn’t truly self-care, despite how many people interpret it. Sleeping in all day and indulging in your favourite snacks may feel satisfying, but here’s the reality—it rarely helps address real problems and, if done impulsively, can even hold you back from facing them, as Dubai-based psychologist Sharika Ashraf explains. Worse, some activities in the name of 'self-care' tend to cause more harm.

So, what are these activities that seem soothing but are actually not doing you much good in the long run?

Binge-watching your favourite shows

There’s nothing quite like curling up on the couch and diving into a marathon of your favourite series. It’s tempting to relax with a snack and let hours slip away, but binge-watching can have unintended side effects.

Sitting for long periods can lead to back and neck pain, while the blue light emitted by screens interferes with our sleep cycle, potentially leading to poor sleep, explains Ashraf. "The constant escape into television, may also take a toll on your mental health, leaving you feeling disconnected from reality."

Instead, balance TV time with active relaxation, like stretching or reading, to break the sedentary habits.

Comfort food is often associated with soothing our emotions, especially during stressful times. But using food to numb negative feelings can backfire in the long run. Ashraf explains, "Overeating sugary or fatty foods triggers a temporary sense of pleasure, but it can lead to weight gain, fluctuating blood sugar levels, and even a potential increase in stress over time."

Instead, choose nutritious comfort foods, such as a warm bowl of soup or roasted veggies, that provide comfort without the consequences

The idea of retail therapy is simple: Buy something new to lift your spirits. While shopping can give a short-term mood boost, it often leads to a sense of remorse and financial stress. The constant cycle of consumption might also replace healthier coping mechanisms, leaving you in a loop of spending to feel good.

If you want to indulge, try focusing on experiences rather than material items, such as a spa day, a weekend trip, or exploring a new hobby that gives you lasting joy without the empty feeling after a shopping spree.

We’ve all been there—feeling stressed out and thinking, I need to work out more to clear my head. As Rosaline George, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist explains, "Exercise is a proven stress-buster, but when we push ourselves too hard in an attempt to feel better, we may be doing more harm than good."

Over-exercising can seem like the perfect solution to a chaotic mind, but constantly pushing your body past its limits can quickly lead to burnout, injury, and even more anxiety. Instead of feeling rejuvenated, you might notice that your stress levels are higher, your body is exhausted, and you’re more prone to injury. Why? That's because intense exercise actually triggers a spike in cortisol, the stress hormone, which leaves you feeling drained rather than recharged.

The secret to truly de-stressing through exercise lies in balance. Mix in activities that nurture both body and mind—think yoga, meditation, or simply taking time to rest. Your body will thank you for it, and your stress levels will drop as you find a rhythm that leaves you feeling calm and energised, not worn out.

So, how do you strike a balance between self-care and comfort? How do you know which, is which?

At its core, self-care has purpose. It’s intentional and is a conscious effort to engage in activities that protect your mental, physical and emotional health, explains Ashraf. It’s far more than quick fixes: It requires a certain level of discomfort and dedication.

Don’t look for immediate rewards either, just like you would get from a comforting activity, warn the specialists. “For instance, cooking a nutritious meal at home after a long day requires more effort than ordering in. However, by preparing that meal, you are investing in long-term health, energy, and even self-esteem. Similarly, going for a run or journaling your emotions can be challenging at the start, but the sense of accomplishment and well-being afterward is a reward in itself,” adds George.

When you indulge in self-care, you show up for yourself. You make a choice that isn’t easy and comfortable, yet you know that it will make your life better. It could be something as basic as refusing to take work home after clocking out.

Yet, as beneficial self-care is, it doesn’t mean that comfort deserves a completely bad rap. “It’s about relaxation and ease,” explains Casey Mills, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist. “It’s a break from the pressures of life. It’s immediate; a mental and physical escape.”

No doubt, most of these comfort activities are invaluable too. “They’re a reminder that it's okay to slow down, to seek shelter from the constant push to be productive. Unlike self-care, comfort doesn’t necessarily move us toward a goal—it simply lets us be. Whether it’s watching a nostalgic movie or getting extra sleep on a Sunday morning, comfort is a balm that provides much-needed rest and recuperation,” adds Mills. While comfort doesn’t often demand commitment or change, it serves as a refuge—a quick pick-me-up that soothes us. Comfort activities can recharge us for the demands ahead, even if they don’t directly contribute to our personal growth.

It is meant to be restorative, but when overused, it becomes an escape from life’s challenges, which create further problems in the future.

As the specialists say, don’t let the comfort take you away from reality. While soothing, these comforts tend to devolve into avoidance strategies. People use them to escape or numb uncomfortable emotions or responsibilities, and this could be through prolonged binge-watching, scrolling through social media, snacking, all of which provide quick distractions from what’s stressing us out, says George.

Recognising the difference between self-care and self-comfort is essential for making more intentional choices. Self-comfort offers instant relief, but can often overlook the root causes of stress and can even foster habits that harm our well-being over time. Self-care, on the other hand, benefits your mental and physical health.

How you can balance both:

Set priorities: Begin your day with a small self-care goal. Set aside a specific time to unwind with a comfort activity, like reading or watching a show.

Listen to your needs: Recognise when you need self-care versus comfort. Feeling emotionally drained? Physically tired? Opt for a comfort activity that allows you to relax without guilt.

Experiment and reflect: Make time for both self-care and comfort activities and pay attention to how each impacts you. If comfort activities leave you feeling refreshed, you’re probably balancing well. If you feel sluggish or unmotivated, it might be time to lean more into self-care.

In essence, self-care helps us grow, while comfort helps us recover. Both are essential for living a life that feels both productive and satisfying. “By learning to balance these two forms of care, we can better navigate life’s demands while staying tuned in to our well-being,” says George.