When identical twins John and Edward Grimes — known collectively as Jedward — competed in last year's X Factor, they divided Britain. Ten million viewers loved them or hated them with equal passion.
It was the quirky singing, the jerky dancing, the stand-up hair and the weird wardrobe that either appalled or fascinated us. Simon Cowell called them "vile" and threatened to emigrate if they won.
Their mentor and fellow Irishman Louis Walsh took the opposite view, saying they were the real stars of the show.
The then prime minister, Gordon Brown, said they were "not very good". But David Cameron, then Opposition leader, bought one of their T-shirts and said they were his favourites to win. In the event, they were voted out in week 7. But while others did better in the show, only to fade away when the music stopped, the tuneless wonders refused to go away.
Jedmania
One year on, how are things on Planet Jedward, aka Jedworld, where Jedicated fans suffer from a condition known as Jedmania?
"We've had a single that got to No 2," says Edward, referring to their version of Under Pressure. (I can tell it's Edward, because his teeth are straight: John has his left front tooth crossing over his right.)
"And we've got a contract to make three albums," chimes in John.
"We've played almost 100 sellout concerts around Ireland," says Edward. "And we're about to begin a 21-date tour of the UK," adds John.
We meet at London's Battersea Dogs Home, of all places, where they are promoting the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine tour — a sort of bouncy castle which is popping up in shopping centres.
Other deals include Disney computer games, an Irish fast food chain, and a highly-paid corporate gig for Google. They are also bringing out the Jedward range of pyjamas and bed linen, and, inevitably, will be endorsing a brand of hairspray.
All this translates into hard cash, of course. Under Walsh's guidance, they have been raking it in, and to celebrate, they each ordered a £250,000 (Dh1,47 million) Ferrari 458 Italia.
"John's is yellow and mine is red," says Edward. Now all they need are driving licences, for neither brother has ever sat behind the wheel before!
"No problem," says Edward cheerfully. "We'll be booking lessons in an ordinary family saloon to teach us the basics."
Their base is still their parents' home outside Dublin, though they are hardly there.
They reckon they won't be throwing their money into traditional pop star pursuits.
They're not interested in drinking, in competing with their peers to be the coolest dude in town, behaving badly or, heaven forbid, indulging in romantic liaisons. Sex, it seems, is a no-go area.
But surely, in that dim and distant future, one day they would like to meet a girl, maybe marry, have kids? "We don't need a girlfriend," says John.
Edward adds: "Having a girlfriend would like be cheating on our fans. That girl would become endangered." He means their fans would attack her.
But they're 19. Aren't their hormones sending out any messages?
"No," they say in unison. They concede, though, that one day they will want to marry.
When Cheryl Cole asked them at their audition what they hoped to be doing in 15 years' time, John replied: "I see myself as older."
Another time, Edward said: "It's thanks to the X Factor that we are on it."
‘Wrote a biography'
But as endearingly confused as their lexicon may sometimes be, they certainly aren't stupid. For instance, they devised their own master plan.
"I wrote a biography about us on MySpace, saying we're going to take the music industry and recreate it," says Edward. "That was two years ago, long before we went on X Factor. And it actually did happen."
While watching earlier series of the show, they would quietly assure each other that one day they would be on it.
They applied online without telling their parents, in case they disapproved. But when a letter inviting them to the auditions arrived in the post, their secret was out.
Mum and Dad were delighted, though their mum, a school teacher, was a bit worried about them not finishing their education.
I wonder whether her identical twins have got us all fooled, and they're only secretly playing dumb.
"We can be really determined," says Edward. "I've got six As out of ten subjects."
Adds John: "When we've targeted something, we'll totally go for it."
Both studied violin to Grade 5, they can read music, and John plays guitar. So is the eccentric behaviour and the bemused air all an act? Are they actually closet intellectuals, hoodwinking us all? Do they secretly read Tolstoy alone in their bedroom?
"Who? Toy Story?" says Edward. Er, no. It doesn't matter.
One of their notable achievements is to prove that Cowell can be very wrong.
At their audition, Cowell said: "You are not very good, and incredibly annoying — two of the most irritating people we've had out here in a very long time."
He was the only judge to say no.
So, what is their considered answer to Cole's question about where they see themselves in 2025?
"We'll both have bald heads," says John.
"I see myself having a breakdown and going out with some random person, and being divorced," says Edward, as they say their goodbyes and spin out of control and back onto Planet Jedward.
