Golden Globes 2023: Highlights of the starry evening

So did a bunch of celebrities, it turns out. Notable figures from television and film boycotted the Globes after the scandal but returned in droves this year, including Steven Spielberg, whose movie "The Fabelmans” won the top drama prize as well as best director, and the cast of “The Banshees of Inisherin,” who cleaned up in the comedy categories.

With tons of booze and little food (per “White Lotus” winner Mike White), the Globes appeared to be back in good favor - controversy be damned. Here are 9 things to catch up on, with the full list of winners below.

Jerrod Carmichael didn’t hold back

“I’ll tell you why I’m here,” the comedian began his monologue. “I’m here because I’m Black.”

Well, when you hire Jerrod Carmichael, you expect honesty.

After briefly rehashing last year’s controversy - noting the HFPA didn’t have a single Black member until after George Floyd’s death - Carmichael recalled producer Stephen Hill calling to offer him the hosting gig: “One minute, you’re making mint tea at home, the next, you’re invited to be the Black face of an embattled White organization,” Carmichael said. “Life really comes at you fast, you know?” It didn’t hurt, the stand-up suggested, that he was making $500,000 for the gig.

Later in the show, Carmichael emerged from backstage with three Globe statuettes in his arms, a reference to the trophies Tom Cruise returned two years ago in protest of the HFPA. What to do with them now? Carmichael suggested they try exchanging them for “the safe return of Shelly Miscavige,” the wife of Scientology leader David Miscavige who hasn’t been seen in public for more than 15 years. (Cruise, of course, is famously a Scientologist.)

And let us not leave out the requisite Will Smith slap joke, with Carmichael stating they had given Smith the Rock Hudson Award for “best portrayal of masculinity on television.”

The misguided bullying of pianist Chloe Flower

Pianist Chloe Flower became a main character at the Globes for more than tickling the ivories throughout the night - for good and ill. The good? She is exceptionally talented and played some popular hits, including the “Sex and the City” theme song and a bit of “Under the Sea” from “The Little Mermaid.”

The bad? It appeared to audiences at home that the poor woman was taking (lighthearted) abuse from award recipients whose speeches ran over their allotted time - including the accomplished Michelle Yeoh, who said, “Shut up, please! I can beat you up, okay?” when music began to play her off. Responding to tweets on the matter, Carmichael clarified that the music playing during speeches was a recorded track, not the pianist. Phew! No fistfights after the show, after all.

Austin Butler and the Elvis voice that won’t die

If you’ve paid any attention to the “Elvis” awards push, you know that star Austin Butler, who plays the King in the Baz Luhrmann film, has continued speaking in a voice similar to his Elvis impression and probably won’t stop until a court orders him to do so.

He riffed on his newly deeper, drawly voice while hosting “Saturday Night Live,” and, on Tuesday, the jokes kept rolling in on Twitter after he accepted his best actor award during the Globes ceremony. “You know when your parents say not to cross your eyes because you could get stuck like that? Austin Butler is the vocal version of that,” TV writer Chris Schleicher tweeted.

Eddie Murphy got bleeped during one of the most memorable lines of the night

Crowd favorite Tracy Morgan introduced Eddie Murphy, who was accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award. Although Morgan began sweetly, saying Murphy’s groundbreaking 1980s comedy specials “Delirious” and “Raw” inspired him to pursue comedy, it also wouldn’t be Morgan unless he made things uncomfortable.

“I got to meet Eddie Murphy on the set of ‘Saturday Night Live’ and he gave me advice that I still hold dear to this day. He said, ‘Tracy, always do good work, never take a gig just for money. That’s what Walmart trucks are for,’ “ Morgan said, drawing gasps at the reference to the settlement after his horrific crash in 2014.

Anyway! Murphy thanked those who helped him throughout his 45 years in show business and offered “up-and-coming dreamers and artists” the definitive blueprint to achieve “success, prosperity, longevity and peace of mind”: “It’s very simple ... you just do these three things,” he said. “Pay your taxes. Mind your business. And keep Will Smith’s wife’s name ... mouth!” He was drowned out by the censor and loud applause, but you can probably guess the middle of that sentence.

‘Abbott Elementary’ got the big win

With five nominations, “Abbott Elementary” was the clear TV favorite, and ABC’s critically beloved hit walked away with three awards: best comedy, supporting actor in a comedy series for Tyler James Williams, and actress in a comedy series for series creator Quinta Brunson.

“Disney, 20th Century, Warner Brothers: Thank you guys. Thank you for believing in this show about a group of teachers from Philadelphia. It has resonated with the world in a way that I couldn’t even imagine it would have - but let’s be real, I did imagine it, that’s why I sold it to you,” Brunson said during her acceptance speech, earning big applause from the crowd.

“During a very tough time in this country, I’m happy that ‘Abbott Elementary’ is able to make so many people laugh,” she added.

Brad Pitt and Rihanna were the talk of the night, despite winning nothing

Brad Pitt, nominated for his supporting role in the film “Babylon,” was seated right up front, prompting several shout-outs throughout the night. Winner Brunson simply said hello from the stage, as did presenter Harvey Guillen of FX’s “What We Do in the Shadows.” Butler, who appeared with Pitt in “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” noted while accepting his Globe for “Elvis” that he was in a room full of his heroes: “Brad, I love you.”

After being introduced as a presenter, Hall joked there might be a mistake with her name: She’s actually “Mrs. Pitt.”

The night’s other hot topic? Rihanna. She may not have won a Globe for her original song from the “Black Panther” sequel, but she garnered a number of mentions - beginning with Carmichael joking he was “going to say something very controversial” before looking right at the pop star. “Rihanna, you take all the time you want on that album, girl,” he said. “Don’t let these fools on the internet pressure you into nothing.” Nash exclaimed, “Rihanna, I love you, and I dressed up as you for Halloween. I just had to say that. Had to take my moment!” (Porter circled back to this later, noting that if he “believed in Halloween,” he would’ve dressed as Rihanna, too. We have more questions now.)

Jennifer Coolidge and ‘The White Lotus’ got their moment(s)

The comedian continued her hot streak as Hollywood’s current obsession as she landed her second nomination and first Golden Globe win for best actress in a limited series or TV movie for her work as the “derpy” Tanya in HBO’s “The White Lotus.”

No one in their right mind would play Coolidge off the stage, so she thanked a list of people in Hollywood who kept her going with “cute little jobs” over 20 years, including Ryan Murphy, Michael Patrick King, Reese Witherspoon and the Weitz brothers for about a million “American Pie” sequels. (“I milked that to the bone,” she added.) Then she delivered a long tribute to “White Lotus” creator Mike White, who cried in the audience as she talked about how he changed her life by casting her in the show.

“I had such big dreams and expectations as a younger person, but what happened is, they get sort of fizzled by life and whatever ... and Mike White, you gave me hope - you’ve given me a new beginning,” she said, quipping that even her neighbours are speaking to her now and she’s getting invited to lots of parties. “He really is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. ... You make people want to live longer.”

When White accepted best limited series or TV movie for “The White Lotus,” he noted that he was a) still choked up over Coolidge’s speech and b) wanted to give his speech in Italian, as that’s where the second season was set ... Ah, some things about the Golden Globes never change.