Chrissy Teigen 1-1616650988826
In this Feb. 9, 2020, file photo, Chrissy Teigen arrives at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Beverly Hills, Calif. Image Credit: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Model and cookbook author Chrissy Teigen has contemplated being ‘cancelled’ and feeling lost due to it in a new Instagram post.

The wife of singer John Legend wrote that it “feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter [expletive] in real life.”

Teigen, 35, was referring to the drama that took place in June when fashion designer Michael Costello accused her of bullying him, causing him to lose work and have suicidal thoughts. That upheaval came just weeks after it was revealed that Teigen had said hateful things about former reality star Courtney Stodden and actress Lindsay Lohan.

Teigen has repeatedly apologised for her behaviour, however, she has disputed Costello’s claims.

In her new Instagram post, Teigen said she missed communicating with her fans.

“I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!!” wrote the active social media user, known for her funny quips and candid posts.

She referred to being part of the ‘cancel club’ and said she has learned a lot from it.

“Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong,” she added. “There is no winning.”

Teigen’s post was met with support from a number of celebrities.

Alec Baldwin, who has in the past been vocal about social media hate, wrote as a reply: “It was a hit job on you for some very specific reasons (more on that another time.) It’s over when you say it’s over. A huge number of people love and support you.”

“Sending lots of love beauty,” Paris Hilton posted.