What makes a person refined?

What does one mean when one describes a person as refined? Is it the ability to speak on any topic? Is it personal wealth? Is it the way the person is able to fit into any society? If a person draws undue attention to himself/herself in a formal setting, is the person unrefined? Will geniuses with a streak of eccentricity be pardoned if they go against the grain of modern society? Friday invites you to join the talkabout

Viewpoint: What do the terms 'cultured' and 'refined' mean to you?

Elias: Someone who has an understanding of a wide array of subjects, not just what he reads in the media. Some people think cultured means a knowledge of fine arts, music and literature. I don't think that necessarily applies in today's culture.

Natalie: I agree, but you cannot say 'this person is not cultured' without knowing where he hails from. I believe every country has a different meaning for 'culture' - you cannot generalise. It is difficult to define.

To me, a cultured person is one who knows a lot about the world, is interested in arts, in his country's history and perhaps in that of other countries, who can adjust in different societies, contribute a little to everything, is not narrow-minded, open to criticism and discussion.

Steven: There is no one I know! (loud guffaws around the table) Cultured has much to do with being refined than knowledge of art or being able to talk about several subjects or having travelled the world.

I know lots of people who are all of this and are by no means what I would call refined. It does not mean they are not good people. What it is, I don't really know. (Refinement) is an inner quality... grace, style and finesse and the way one is aware of other people even in posture and conduct. They (cultured people) think in a refined way.

Anjali: I agree. I feel that basically a person who believes in what he or she thinks and says, and respects the other person's point of view as well would be refined and cultured. As Stephen says, it's not art or knowledge, it's not belittling the other person by saying 'it's this way'. The cultured person appreciates others and gives them space as well.

Reshma: I agree a bit with what they are saying. When we throw a party and later discuss people and say, 'Oh he was really refined' or 'She was really cultured', it's in terms of etiquette also - how they carry themselves, talk to you, respect your point of view, are not rude and arrogant. It's also the family they come from (nods around the table).