Nearly half of parents argue with grandparents over how to raise their children

Struggle with your in-laws when it comes to parenting your kids? You’re not alone

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Nearly half of all parents admit they argue with their own parents and their in-laws over the best way to raise kids
Nearly half of all parents admit they argue with their own parents and their in-laws over the best way to raise kids
Johnny Cohen/ Unsplash

In families where grandparents spend time with their grandchildren, 43% of the children's parents report clashes with the grandparents over parenting choices and household rules.

Topping the list of conflicts are disagreements over discipline (noted by 57% of parents), meals and snacks (44%) and television and screen time (36%), according to the University of Michigan's National Poll on Children's Health. It involved a representative sample of 2,016 parents with at least one child age 18 or younger.

On discipline, 40% of parents say grandparents are too lenient, but 14% say they are too strict. Other areas of disagreement cited by parents include manners, safety and health issues, bedtime, instances of treating some grandchildren differently than others, and posting on social media of photos and information about the children.

Parents say that disagreements sometimes stem from changes in parenting practices since grandparents had young children - such as not spanking, putting infants to sleep on their back now instead of their stomachs or using booster seats longer than in the past.

Results are mixed when grandparents have been asked to change their behaviour, with parents saying that 47% did change, 36% agreed to change but did not do it and 17% refused. About 15% of parents say they have limited the time grandparents spend with the grandchildren because they have contradicted or interfered with the parent's choices.

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