UAE Return to School: 10 Ways to help children with separation anxiety

As kids go back to school and children return to their old routines away from their parents it is normal for them to suffer from separation anxiety in one form or other. Although it is to be expected, it can have some negative consequences if left unchecked, says Dr Rasha Bassim, a leading UAE Psychiatrist, specialising in anxiety disorders at the Priory Wellbeing Centre, Dubai: “Suffering from anxiety can affect a child’s classroom behaviour, academic performance, and social interactions.”

Common signs and symptoms of separation anxiety that parents should look out for in their child include: Refusing to sleep alone; Frequent nightmares about being alone; Being overly ‘clingy’ and not wanting to be apart from a parent; Frequent stomach aches, headaches or other physical ailments; Crying and tantrums; Needing to take a favourite toy with them everywhere they go; Refusing to speak to some family members or teachers; Not wanting to join social activities with other children. If you are concerned your child may be suffering from separation anxiety Dr Rasha Bassim has the following advice…

CHECK THEIR BEDTIME: Make sure your child gets enough sleep. Following the long break from regular routines over lockdown and the summer holiday, bedtimes may have crept later - but a lack of good, quality sleep can further exacerbate feelings of anxiety and panic. Try bringing your child’s bedtime forward by 15-30 minutes.

TALK POSITIVELY ABOUT WHAT YOU DO WHILE THEY AT SCHOOL: Parents should talk to them about going back to work themselves and emphasise how much they have missed being in their office and catching up with colleagues. This will help the child know their parent will be safe and happy when away from them.

DEVELOP A CLEAR MORNING ROUTINE: Regular routines ensure your child feels safe and can predict what will happen next. Explain clearly when mum or dad will leave and when they will return and try to stick to this as much as possible

DEVISE A FUN FAREWELL RITUAL: Develop a positive and cheerful way of saying ‘goodbye’ every morning with your child. This could include a simple ‘high five’ or a specially-themed goodbye that is fun and encourages laughter and smiles. Rather than dreading this aspect of the day, it will help ensure the experience takes on a fun dimension to look forward to.

MAKE GOODBYES SHORT AND SWEET: Long or drawn-out goodbyes can make the child feel unsafe and think that the parent does not want to leave them either, adding to feelings of insecurity and panic.

ARRANGE PLAYDATES: During lockdown, social distancing will have meant some friendships will have deteriorated because children have been unable to see each other. “Allowing children to meet up with old friends outside of school time can be very helpful. As much as possible and within the rules, parents should encourage their child back out into the outside world. Whether it’s meeting their friends at a park or in a garden, and encouraging them to run around, at a distance from their parent – they will gradually start to gain back their confidence and acclimatise to not always having parents in close proximity”.

TRY BREATHING TECHNIQUES: For those who still appear extremely nervous and anxious, Dr Rasha recommends calming breathing techniques, many of which can be found online. “If a child can learn how to calmly breathe when anxious, they soon learn they can manage their anxiety themselves, and bring it down quite easily, which is ‘containing’ for them. Parents should spend time practicing these techniques together with their child – a sense of being mentally and physically equipped to deal with feelings of anxiety and panic is often half the battle.”

TALK IT OUT: Alaa Abuali is a Dubai-based counselling psychologist. She says: "Talk to your child about her fears and anxieties, and tell her that she is safe and loved even when she is not with you. Ask her to draw a picture of her classroom; it may help you understand how she is feeling, which in turn will help her to feel safe and accepted. Also, consult with teachers to ensure that she is receiving appropriate support in the school setting."

TRY THE ‘HUG BUTTON’: Draw a heart on your child’s hand and your own hand. Tell them every time they feel scared they can touch it to get a “hug” from you. This technique went viral last year when it was first shared by a UK-based mummy blogger, and it can act as a great psychological reassurance for children who may be daunted by being around their peers and away from their family again.

TRY THE ALARM CLOCK METHOD: Parenting educator Holly Grattanis has a trick for building the confidence of younger children who may be struggling: “Try giving her an alarm clock to hold while you have a shower and tell her you'll be back before the alarm goes off. Leave her with your nanny or other family member while you go for your shower, even if she cries. Brief your child-carer to try to divert her attention with a game and, if she cries, to remind her the alarm will go off soon. After a few days your child will begin to accept this and will be asking, ‘Mummy I have the alarm are you going for your shower now?'"