As a traveller to new places, you don’t cling on to people or things. Sure, you like the place, so you enjoy, admire, create good memories and then, move on. There is even yearning to come back home after a while, even as the desire for fresh travels exist. It is the grace of the flow, the movement, the change, the new experiences, the new flavours that makes travel so attractive.
Yet in the journey of life, you mostly like to be stationed at one place, in the comfort of habitual patterns and in the familiarity of comfort that you worked ‘so hard’ for.
I am often asked: “How can I change my persistent negative thoughts?” One way to address this is to see what you are deriving holding on to that thought? Is it benefiting you in some form or manner? Be honest with yourself. If it is benefiting you, then find a way to derive that benefit in a healthy manner.
For instance, if habitual complaining gets you attention, then better ways of obtaining attention exist as well. Break the habit of complaining and move on. More often than not, people tend to hold on to a thought persistently because they are obtaining some form of benefit from it.
And if a thought is not benefiting you at all, then discard it. What is the point homing in on a thought that is not serving you?
It is your intention that will act as a bridge to move from: ‘What I do not want’ to ‘What I want.’ This is a choice you make on a daily basis. Remember, it is the intention, not wish. So, pack your thoughts and move in a direction where you get benefited in the highest and best manner.
The other question that is often asked is: ‘How can I deal with a negative experience?’ Well, know that each experience holds within it, some learning. For a moment, extract yourself away from the experience, be an observer, watch the experience and call in the learning hidden there for you. Engage with that learning. What did it teach you? (Learning is always present in an experience which you choose to hold). Take the positive learning, discard the rest as it is not meant for you. Move on, it is time to pack your bags and leave that experience, that place.
New learning enrich your journey. A seasoned and happy traveller is always light on bags (or baggage). In your spiritual journey, as you drop your baggage of negativity — that makes your body heavy, mind clogged and heart closed — you become conduit of positive energy. You really do, this is not just a palliative statement.
An experience pops up in your life to teach you or validate your experience. Nothing is useless. All serve a purpose, otherwise they wouldn’t pop up in your reality. Take what is meant for you, for your growth, leave the rest and journey on.
Flow and freedom are our natural state. Any experience or thought that contradicts the flow of life and freedom of our being, puts us in disharmony.
Negativity is like a whirlpool and so is positivity. Just that a particular current is stronger because you are feeding it with your thoughts, attention and emotion. For example, the daily routine of going to work is tiring, you fall sick, because you want to rest.
But here’s the thing: You do not have to fall sick to get rest. Just rest. Just “be.” The polar nature of creation doesn’t allow one to simply rest. It requires practice to just “be”, without the agony of push or pull. You always have been asked to “do something”, so sitting quietly (or resting), isn’t in the nature as yet, the habit has to be learnt, to be brought in.
Being a traveller doesn’t always mean comfort settings either. There is a constant adjustment and re-adjustments one has to do. These might be disconcerting, but in the end, there is always a soulful satisfaction. The soulful satisfaction is the high, the fuel that keeps a traveller turbocharged.
What benefit are you holding from an experience you do not like. Ponder over it with full honesty, you will get your answer, dear sojourner.
Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is a chakra balancing meditation coach, Theta Healer and a sound therapist. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. She can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org