When a father says that he never quarrelled with his grown up son, in all probability he is hiding the facts. When boys grow up, it is but natural that they rebel.
A few years ago, my then college-going son and I had a heated argument about a silly matter. "You don't treat me like a grown man," he said. He was shaking with anger and I was taken aback by this reaction as he had never spoken angrily to me. The mother, the Supreme Court that pardons every crime committed by her child, intervened. "You don't speak to your father in that tone," she said. I saw my son going to his room and crying bitterly. I felt helpless and did not know what to do.
Later, when he apologised, I could only mutter: "Only when you become a father will you know what it is like to be one." However, the incident troubled me a lot.
"Why are you always instructing him as if he were a school boy?" My brother-in-law, who shared a close bond with my son, asked. I ultimately realised what I did was wrong. But I did not have the courage to accept it in front of him. Perhaps because of the elephantine male ego.
When I spoke about the incident with my friends who had college going sons, they all admitted that they had faced similar situations. Also, it was always the mother who stepped in to stop the situation from turning uglier. I read somewhere that the supreme relationship skills of the female come in handy when the men folk become helpless. I am told that it also holds good in the matter of love.
It is a fact that a father-son relationship passes through a difficult period for sometime. However, with time the relationship becomes a cherished memory. Later, my son went on to pursue higher studies abroad and often called me when he travelled. When boarding the plane from Melbourne to Sydney, he would drop a call for no specific reason. "I just wanted to call you," he said.
My wife said: "Is it the same young man who fought with you like a tiger?" That is how life goes on.
On my last vacation in my home country, I went to the airport to meet my son, who was returning from another country after completing higher studies. I had not seen him for more than two years. He had become a big man. When he came near me, I hugged him and did some thing that I have not done in public for a very long time. I cried.
The writer is an Oman-based Gulf News reader
