Forget the vows you made on New Year’s Eve that you’ve since abandoned. To really change your life for the better you need to make resolutions every day. Experts believe our lives run more smoothly and we are happier if we create a positive mindset from the moment we wake up. And we can keep our good energy topped up throughout the day with some easy techniques, which can be done quickly – some take seconds – and almost anywhere! Five self-help experts have given us their top tips to ensure we fly all the way through 2013.
1. Start your day calm
Instead of leaping out of bed and rushing into chores, such as packing lunches and tidying the kitchen, set your alarm to go off a quarter of an hour earlier. After you shower, sit down, close your eyes for about ten minutes and focus on the point between your brows in order to stop your mind wandering to stressful thoughts about the day ahead. “This will ensure that you start your morning calm and you will feel much more grounded for the day ahead,” says UK-based coach Arvind Devalia (www.arvinddevalia.com).
2. Ask yourself three questions
Life coach Talane Miedaner (www.lifecoach.com/about-talane) suggests we start each day by asking ourselves, firstly, what’s important about the day ahead and, secondly, what must get done. “List business and personal things,” she advises. “It may be that it’s your son’s birthday and you have to leave work early to get him a cake. Your ‘must list’ refers to the things that have to be done today – not things you’d like to do.”
The third question is what is important about the future? In other words, which events are coming up that you need to start preparing for today. “By jotting down these answers, you will automatically be leveraging the 80/20 rule – 80 per cent of our results come from only 20 per cent of our actions – and focusing on what is truly most important in your life,” Talane says.
3. Walk mindfully in nature
Take ten to 20 minutes to walk around a park or a garden. Avoid eye contact with other people and don’t engage in conversations. This walk is about being in the here and now. Focus on your breath to stop your mind wandering to the office where a pile of filing awaits you, or the supermarket, where you will have to do a week’s shopping. “Being mindful means appreciating everything about your walk, from the smells and the colours to the texture of the grass or sand,” says Arvind. “If possible, walk barefoot to feel even more connected with the earth. This calms the brain down and the oxygen from the fresh air regenerates our brain cells. It also gets us away from electronic stimuli such as computers and phones.”
4. Create a To Don’t list!
Every day write down the two things you are not going to do, suggests UK-based life coach Becki Houlston (www.beckihoulston.co.uk). “We focus so much on what we have to do that we sometimes forget we have a choice,” says Becki. “By saying no to certain things, like listening to your friend moan for hours about her marriage, or paying for your colleagues’ coffee every day, you’re putting yourself first and this will keep your motivation high for the things that are important to you.”
5. Do a body and mind scan
Lie down, relax and do a body scan in your mind, says UK-based counsellor Julia Armstrong (www.juliaarmstrong.com), “Start at your head and work your way down to your feet, looking for aches and pains and tension. Then think what you could do to resolve these. You may need to see a sports physiotherapist or you may need a manicure.” Next, she says, “look at your emotions and ask yourself if there are areas that need some help. Maybe you could use some career counselling or you and your partner would benefit from some couple’s therapy. You may just need to talk things through with your best friend.”
6. Simplify one thing every day!
Less is more, according to Talane. “Every day simplify one area of your life, for example, start up a personal filing system, hire a housekeeper, or organise to share lifts when picking up teenagers from events. It may be that you get rid of something you no longer need to create some space – clear your closets, sort out your desk drawers at work or tidy out the pile of DVDs in the living room. This also applies to habits such as nail biting, or eating high-fat sugary food.”
7. Practise an attitude of gratitude
At the end of every day jot down in a diary the ten things you’re most grateful for. You may start with material things such as a new skirt or a beautiful piece of jewellery, but you’ll soon start to appreciate the everyday things we take for granted, such as a water supply, the love in our lives, the sunny weather and our families. “It’s good to do this just before you nod off, as it helps you end the day on a positive note,” says Arvind. “When we feel appreciative for what we have, this is reflected in our actions and we behave in an upbeat and positive way.”
8. Lighten up!
Stop trying to control your partner, your teenagers and your colleagues. It may be that you remind your partner every morning before work that he needs his wallet and keys, or you may check your teenagers’ schoolbags to see they have the right sports gear for their day ahead. “It’s about giving up controlling other people or situations and giving your attention to the things that matter in your life,” says Becki. “Trust that others will organise themselves and use your energy for yourself.” She also advises you to start the day with something that makes you laugh, as “humour lightens everything up”.
9. Tackle your biggest jobs first
We all have big projects we put off because they seem overwhelming or daunting. Energy management expert Alyssa Abbey (www.highperformancedevelopment.co.uk/about/profile/alyssa_abbey) recommends each day we tackle our biggest job first, especially if it has been hanging over us for months. “Often there are just one or two things that are tipping the balance, and when we’ve done them, we feel more in control and as if a great weight has been lifted,” explains Alyssa. “As a result, more energy is released and we can go on to get more jobs done.”
10. Perform an act of kindness
Each day do something nice for someone else. You could hold a door open or carry some shopping. “This is just a little courtesy which doesn’t take much time or energy,” says Arvind. “Offer couriers a drink and a piece of fruit, or ask the names of people who help you – from the lift attendant to waiters and waitresses in restaurants. This makes them feel more connected and appreciated. “Pay someone’s parking ticket or give someone flowers. If a person asks for directions, help as best you can. The human connection makes you feel good, and it makes the other person feel so good that they go away wanting to help people too.”
