The pursuit of happiness

Factors they considered included the overall wealth and healthcare available in a country, but also the mood created by life expectancy, earnings, having someone to count on and the freedom to make life choices. It concluded that the world overall had become a ‘slightly happier and more generous place’.

It’s good news for everyone here but the age-old question remains – which gender are the happiest, men or women?

The biggest global happiness survey was done back in 2008 by the marketing and information firm Nielsen. They discovered that in 48 of 51 countries women were the happiest. The survey concluded that men found happiness with wealth, while women sought it from friendships and relationships with partners, family, friends and co-workers.

But Andy Cope, co-author of Be Brilliant Everyday, who is doing a doctorate in the science of positivity, which will officially make him a Doctor of Happiness, says that men score higher on the ‘happyometer’ than women. “Men and women are wired differently and I think it’s safe to say that women have more complicated circuitry than men!” he says.

So, while women are worrying and over-analysing things, men are busy getting on with being happy.

But he warns it’s a fragile state of mind. “Happiness can be fleeting. It doesn’t take much to knock you off your happiness perch. And in fact the manic pace of modern life can inhibit happiness. A lot of people end up living life fast but not particularly well.”

Being happy and upbeat requires practice and energy, and because it’s harder to learn to be happy, most people can’t be bothered.

Men enjoy pursuits that involve them being part of a club, or a physical activity, but women are different. “Women enjoy making things, being of service to others, pampering or doing activities to better themselves such as yoga or meditation.” Carole says that women need to learn from men and prioritise their happiness and nurture it.

Relationship psychologist Martyn Stewart agrees that both genders want happiness but we go about finding it in different ways.

“We all want the same thing – the biological feeling when chemicals flood the reward centre in our brain. This is what we call pleasure, or happiness,” Martyn explains.

“However what’s different between individuals is understanding the thought process underpinning the behaviour that allows this to happen.”

Martyn says that although the world has dramatically changed, men and women are still striving towards the same fundamental things. Men are still driven to compete and be recognised, while providing for their families, while women are still striving for the ‘Cinderella fairy-tale,’ with love, commitment and security. But even if we’re able to achieve these states – we might find they make us content rather than truly happy.

“Each gender could learn from each other,” Martyn suggests. “Women are waiting and planning a unique fairy-tale, while men are designing their worlds by logic and compartmentalisation. Maybe male happiness could benefit from mixing in a little ‘Walt Disney’ and women could step back and see if their strict fairy-tales could fit into some of his compartments.”

Both genders could find themselves even happier if they work together.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s important both genders are happy because it will enhance your life – big time. Andy says his action plan for happiness includes putting a deliberate spring in your step. Increase your smiling by 40 per cent and walk tall. If your posture is positive, your emotions will be too. “Write a list of the top 10 things you take for granted – and stop taking them for granted!”

Andy adds, “Both men and women are waiting for happiness. We say ‘I’ll be happy when…’ like we’re saving it for a special occasion. Wake up. Life is the ultimate special occasion!”

ON THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS? #100DAYSHAPPY

All over social media you’ll see people posting photos of things that make them happy, followed by #100happydays. It could be lunch with friends, a beautiful sunset or a cute dog in the street. The idea started at 100happydays.com, which asks the question, “Can we be happy for 100 days in a row?” Apparently not, “Seventy-one per cent of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason. These people were simply too busy to be happy. Are you?” Make time!

LAUGHTER YOGA

We all know the saying, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.” Now scientific research suggests that it’s true and that when we laugh we change our brain chemistry and feel better. Usually, we laugh because we’re happy, but through the act of laughing, we can make ourselves happy. Why not try laughter yoga to get the giggles? Log on to simplylaughter.com/tag/laughteryoga-dubai.

BOUNCE

Leap on to the free-jumping revolution that is Bounce, Dubai, and you’ll be feeling happier in no time. Why? Well, trampolining can help to combat depression, anxiety and stress thanks to those happy chemicals endorphins. It’s great exercise and will help you relax, promote better sleeping patterns and boost your energy levels. And there’s got to be something fun about jumping around like a big kid wearing brightly striped socks! Log on to www.bounce.ae