My husband and I would never have met if it weren’t for the UAE.
He is Pakistani, from Multan, and I am a South Indian from Bengaluru. Although we’ve been married for about two months, our paths crossed three years ago, at Knowledge Village, Dubai, where we both work. We knew of each other but only got close after a mutual friend started a badminton group and we started meeting regularly for friendly matches.
A year later, our families met, the date was fixed and we were hitched!
The UAE had a huge role in making this happen, since I’ve grown up here and had no immediate intention of moving anywhere. Shahbaz, my husband, came to Dubai from Saudi Arabia (where his extended family resides), to study, and stayed on once he was employed.
His nationality never mattered to me; it was his kindness and honesty that drew me to him. That being said, I don’t think I would have ever met him if I was living in India.
I’ve often felt that people living in India have several preconceptions and misconceptions about Pakistanis — and perhaps vice versa — because they don’t have them as neighbours, friends or colleagues. There is no real face to the nationality. But growing up in this country, you get more exposure. The diversity here removes inhibitions about people from other cultures, if you have any.
My family is quite conservative and it is rare to see them marrying people from other cities in India, let alone other nationalities. Thankfully, this is changing, especially with my generation, as more of us choose our own partners, and find the challenge of a foreign culture, language or cuisine to be exciting rather than inconvenient.
My parents are pretty open-minded, and while they were fine with me marrying someone from across the border, they did have reservations on how difficult it would be for us to travel to India. This is definitely a problem we are facing — and not just to visit family back home. When we recently applied for a visa to Europe, my husband was quizzed on whether he was truly married to me or not!
It’s why our long-term plan is to immigrate to the West, and get a neutral passport so we won’t face such issues in the future.
Despite these issues, I think marrying a Pakistani isn’t altogether different from being married to an Indian.
I can barely speak Urdu and faintly remember my grandfather teaching me to write in the language, but Shahbaz doesn’t mind, and I like learning from him. He can beat any Tamilian at eating spicy food, while I can’t manage even the average mango pickle. We both love doing adventurous things, travelling and photography. We agree on the important aspects of our lives and have mutual respect.
These things don’t change when you’re on one side of the border or the other ... and that’s what really matters.
— The writer is an assistant student office manager at Middlesex University in Dubai
