We've all, at some stage, vowed to get fitter or healthier, or maybe work harder, or be more organised or money-savvy, but after a month or two, we find that we managed just two weeks of ‘good behaviour' and we're back to our old ways, tucking into cakes, going on spending sprees and missing appointments because we didn't write them down.
We're skipping the visits to the gym, having dessert after every meal, watching television instead of writing our best-selling novel and coming up with excuses for not visiting our parents! We've already gone overdrawn on our accounts and we never made it to that Greek conversation class we enrolled for.
According to experts, to make any change work, we need to have a long-term plan in place and look ahead several years to where we want to be. We need 20-20 vision - a clear idea of what we want to be doing and where we want to be in the year 2020. Sharon Eden, a coach and psychotherapist, explains: "If you can see yourself where you want to be in 2020, that vision will act as a magnet, but it isn't enough on its own. There are things that you need to create and do to move yourself forward and towards your goal."
Sharon's work is based on three main areas - Intention, Attention and No Tension.
"Start by writing out your intention," she says. "Make sure you choose things that you feel passionate about or your heart won't be in your goal and you'll never do the work to get there.
"One of my clients was an accountant for a big firm and he did a lot of number-crunching day after day, which he didn't really enjoy. He discovered his passion was talking to people and socialising. Luckily, his company was big enough for him to move into marketing where he blossomed.
"Everybody's passions will be very different. Some people might want to take part in the 2020 Olympics, or they may see themselves in a loving relationship with children. Some may want to have created their own successful business with offices all over the world. Others may want a year's sabbatical to travel and sample new cultures, or a house in the Mediterranean.
"If you hold onto your vision, your brain will be programmed to notice opportunities to help you achieve it."
Sharon advises, "Once you know where your passion lies, write out your goal as if you have already achieved it, as if you're living in 2020. Use all your senses in the description, and then stick those cards where you can see them and they can act as a constant reminder.
"Someone who wants to become an author might write: ‘I am sitting in my office chair, holding in my hands my best-selling book. In front of me are newspapers and magazines with great reviews and I feel fantastic.'
"A runner might have on his card: ‘I have just completed a half marathon in 1:45. I feel amazingly fit as I cross the finishing line'.
"On more cards write some markers along the way. A suggestion would be: ‘I'm holding the draft of my first five chapters and I feel so successful,' while the runner would write: ‘I feel incredibly fit now I have run 10 kilometres without stopping'."
Buckle down and… relax
The next stage is attention - to make our dreams come true we have to do the work along the way, and write the book, or do the training for the marathon. Sharon points out that if we don't do anything, nothing will happen. But if our 2020 vision is in line with what we love doing, we're more likely to make it happen.
Finally, there's the No Tension stage.
"Become chilled about it," says Sharon. "If you're doing the work, just step back and see the opportunities that come towards you. You'll be sending energy out there, you'll be on social media talking about what you're doing, and someone somewhere might well pick up on what you're doing.
"If you obsess, you may filter out any opportunities that could come your way because you think they don't fit your goal. But these things could represent an opportunity that's even better than what you'd hoped. We need flexibility if we're to achieve our long-term vision!"
Emma Wimhurst, a self-made millionaire, who launched her own multi-million pound business Diva Cosmetics, has identified seven key disciplines to get us on track to where we want to be in 2020.
1. Focus your vision
Looking a few years into the future enables you to consider long-term goals, such as building up a retirement fund, or starting a family. Don't rule anything out. If you're a full-time mum and you'd love to become a lawyer, write it down. Getting clarity at this stage is tantamount to success.
If you find it hard to work out what you want, look ahead to the end of your life. Maybe you'd wish you'd written that book, built up a business empire or had more time with your children.
2. Build from there...
This is about the journey for the next eight years as you move closer to your 2020 vision. If your plan is to be married with three children by 2020 and you're single, you need to start socialising or taking up new hobbies to meet people. If you want to be a teacher, now is the time to start studying. If you want to open a restaurant, draw up a business plan, do your research and study marketing, advertising and ingredients.
3. Become a master of marketing
You'll probably need help from others and if you're going into business or sales, marketing makes people aware of you and the services you offer.
Personally, you need to make sure you have the support of your family. If you want to retire at 55, you need to check if your partner understands and supports this. If you're going back to college, you'll need to check that your children will be looked after, or that your teenagers understand the household budget might be reduced for a while.
4. Manage your money
Keep your accounts organised so you know how much is in each one. Be aware of your household expenses for the year, covering everything from electricity bills to petrol. If you're in debt, get some advice. If you get your finances under control this year, by 2020 you'll be in a wealthier place.
5. Inspire others
When you're doing something you're enthusiastic about, you'll inspire other people, from your children to your colleagues. Lead by example and treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself. Remember to say thank you.
6. Care for people
Understand that everyone has their own goals, and things may be going on in their lives that you don't know about. Be a good listener and deliver on your promises.
7. Motivate yourself
If your 2020 vision is important to you, you can't fail to get motivated, but if you get overwhelmed, think about a break in routine and go have a day at a spa, or go for a walk with your wife, or have a shopping trip with a group of girlfriends.
Case study
‘Looking forward to 2020 gave me clarity and kept me motivated'
Leanne Dal Santo, 41, owns smartbags.co.uk and lives in North London with her husband Matthew and their children Jake, nine, and five-year-old Samara. She used Emma's tactics when she launched her business.
I left a corporate job four years ago to launch my own business, making eco bags for groups and businesses. What makes us different is we "bag people's brands" and showcase, via a bag, what they have to offer.
I had a one-to-one session with Emma Wimhurst before I left my job as a financial controller for a large IT company, and we followed that session up with some monitoring and e-mails. I also read her book, BOOM!.
Emma looks at a business from all angles and I like that about her coaching - she got me to think about my objectives, marketing, finances and staff. She took me back to basic principles that are based on good sense.
We started by looking forward to 2020 and talking over how I wanted my life to be by then. It became clear that I wanted a business that allowed me to be creative, yet also put me in charge of my own time. I wanted my children to play a major role in my future and I wanted some time to spend with them too. Getting this clear from the outset gave me clarity and kept me motivated as I had a reason for making this business a success.
Next, I wrote a business plan. I needed the building blocks to set up the business, from the supplier to the buyers. I had to work out if there was a demand for my bags and I realised that whilst there was demand, my product needed to be bespoke.
Once I got started, Emma taught me that taking action is important, but it has to be the right action. I had to spend most of my time doing the things that brought value to my business. This meant delegating things like bookkeeping and outsourcing administration.
I got my blog in place and I started doing exhibitions and conferences, but I also started approaching potential companies.
Emma was very pragmatic and had me working out how many bags I needed to sell and how many new clients I needed per month. But we soon had some breakthroughs and I got several satisfied high-profile clients.
Our business is now four years old and, like most businesses, it has had its struggles in the last year. Managing the cash flow has been a challenge but we're moving into premises next year and I love what I do.
• www.smartbags.co.uk
