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Looking at this game of physical life, all the struggles/obstacles/challenges/failures — call them by any name — are actually stepping stones to learnings and doors to closure. Image Credit: Shutterstock

In the process of learning, we also run the risk of incurring karmic debt.

In bitterness, we may choose not to forgive a person for their role (refer example, the husband), and hence we carry that energy of bitterness and hatred over.

This leads to the continuation of the cycle of birth and death because our soul yearns completeness, balance. That is to say, balance of both the energies — negative and positive.

Else, the seeking continues as the chapter awaits closure, through release of negatives emotion and realisation of the positive by way of discernment and embodiment. Call it balance.


Looking at this game of physical life, all the struggles/obstacles/challenges/failures — call them by any name — are actually stepping stones to learnings and doors to closure. Leave behind the unwanted and move forward toward wholeness.

But you see, it is not always challenges, tears and hurt all the way. Life packs in happiness too. In order to tip towards the balanced state, we attract positive experiences and positive people in our life. Thereby, validating our inner goodness, bringing our spiritual aspects to the fore.

In moments, we have felt life full and complete. Haven’t we? In this experience of fullness, the tussle receives a pause and peace is experienced.

What is this tussle? The tussle is between our incompleteness and completeness. The energy of completeness, has in its fold, the feelings of joy, peace, contentment, alignment and centeredness. As reiterated, we all have experienced this in bits and pieces and that is how we know what completeness feels like and hence, we attempt towards it. Our life journey is towards being ‘permanently’ in this balanced state.

When we attract people who are similar to us, it is done to receive the energy of ‘respite’ from the ‘challenge’. People who are similar to us, in whom we see our reflection, we seek validation of our thoughts and actions. We ‘rest’ our energies under their shade. We seek love.


The most challenging aspect of our own personality is: self-love. This is our biggest battle — the battle with the self. Why does this battle rage in us? Because we constantly judge ourselves. Why do we constantly judge ourselves?

Let me rephrase this question to: When do we judge ourselves? When we have acted out of our incompleteness and imbalanced state. (Read the first portion of this article to understand).

Here’s an example of acting out in an incomplete state: A child seeking a parent’s attention and the parent reacting to the child by shouting back (anger state, need love to balance this state); being sarcastic to a friend, colleague or a partner (judgement, lack of compassion state); a person taking a bribe (greed mentality state); person committing domestic violence or abuse etc (depleted of love, security, kindness state).

Any negative action arising out of negative emotion — knowingly or unconsciously — is an incomplete state, ultimately making us unhappy and descending us in self-judgment.

But in completeness (actions arising out of innate goodness of heart) there is no judgement, just peace. When we start loving the self, appreciating our self without judging self, then the seeking stops. When the seeking stops, it means we are full, we are totally aligned. When we are very full, then we want to give. In fullness, we are complete.

Therefore, giving becomes joy. Happiness and peace is experienced, putting the final piece in the puzzle of wholesome living-physicality lived with spirituality.

Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is a chakra balancing meditation coach, Theta Healer and a sound therapist. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. She can be reached at