“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone!” is the immediate response you expect from people discovering that an adult woman is single for a long period of time. Why is it that we assume she is unhappy, unlucky in love or looking for a partner? We tend to dismiss the possibility of her choosing to remain single and being content with her decision.
“Studies have shown that single women tend to be happier than married women,” said Andrea Tosatto (right), clinical psychologist. Then why are we baffled when we come across a woman who is older, living a self-sustained and solo life?
“Culture, social pressure and coercion from family force women to commit in a relationship and because of those constructs we are trained to look down upon women who choose to remain single,” added Tosatto. These ideals sometimes lead women to settle and stray from their plans of remaining solo.
There are several reasons why a woman would choose the single life. Relationships come with so much stress and complications sometimes, depending on its dynamics, women opt to not commit, said Christina Burmeister (above), clinical counsellor in Dubai. Additionally, “Women are comfortable being alone, men are not as emotionally strong as women sometimes,” she added.
However, if the gender roles were reversed and if a man chose to remain single for the majority of his life, we would tend to overlook it. “We are desensitised by that and there’s a double standard,” said Tosatto. As the world is evolving, so are women’s choices and necessities.
Life coach based in Dubai, Sushma Shenoy (right) said, “Many women are choosing to stay single or get married later on in life because gender roles have shifted dramatically over the ages. In the past, men were the only ones allowed to get an education and be part of the workforce so women were financially dependent on them. Now that women can take care of themselves, they can choose to be with a man based on her emotional needs and not necessity.”
These experts have suggested how practical and reasonable it can be for a woman to opt for the single route. Maybe now when one comes across an independent, single woman, the possibility of her choosing to live such a lifestyle and not seeking marriage, might not be as striking.