Think of Burlesque as one ginormous music video theme party thrown by Christina Aguilera, with Cher in the house, plus boas, bustiers and dancing girls, and about a thousand humongous Broadway-style showstoppers - which is a far better way to consider Burlesque than thinking of it as a movie.
However, should you find yourself in the mood for big musical numbers by the score rather than a film, there's a lot to like about Burlesque.
Anyone who's listened to Top 40 radio in the last decade has no doubt been blown away by Aguilera's powerful pipes and wide vocal range that puts her in Whitney Houston's territory. She's a pure pleasure to listen to... for a while.
Burlesque, then, is a safe place for Aguilera to show off her song and dance moves, which she does (belting out bluesy songs) left and right - many inspired by the smouldering torch queen Etta James, while dancing around the stage with other pretties for roughly two hours straight.
This musically-infused flick is a visual feast of feathers, rhinestones and pearls that makes you want to use words like "razzle-dazzle" when looking at the costumes created by designer, Michael Kaplan.
Shot with a gorgeous lushness by Bojan Bazelli (Hairspray and Mr and Mrs Smith), the entire world of Burlesque evokes an earlier, vaudevillian era - although it isn't set way back then.
A ghastly Dancing With the Stars line lets you know that Burlesque is taking place "now," as does the mega real estate development that's putting the old LA club's fate on the line.
Writer-director Steven Antin, making his feature film debut, has borrowed the oldest storyline from Hollywood's archives.
A young girl from Iowa or somewhere in the American middle travels to Tinseltown to find fame and fortune. First she will face hard times, then find a "big-city cheese" to woo her (Eric Dane's Marcus), a sweet Kentucky farm boy to maybe love her (Cam Gigandet's Jack), and an ageing diva (Cher's Tess), who will take her under her wing. When she finally gets her shot at the big time - why gosh, that girl can sing!
The film begins with a frustrated and struggling waitress in a diner (Aguilera's Ali), who quits her job, packs her bags and heads to the bus depot - destination, Los Angeles. Once in LA, Ali hits the streets looking for work and ends up on Sunset Boulevard, where the neon "Burlesque" sign calls out to her.
Before you know it, Ali's chatting up that hunky Kentucky wonder who happens to bartend at the club, grabbing a tray and serving beverages, and vowing to convince Tess that she ought to be on the stage. The filmmaker is apparently not only into borrowing plots, but recycling too - since so many lines get reused like: "Don't call me Ma'am", "Don't touch my stuff!" and "That's just the kind of friend I am." It's a shame because if you've ever seen Moonstruck, Silkwood or Mask, to name a few, you know that Cher can definitely act, something she's never pressed to do here.
Meanwhile, it will take more than Burlesque to know whether Aguilera will ever be able to make the transition. Now when it comes to Stanley Tucci, it's another story. Truthfully, I can't remember anything he says, though there was some warning about an expiration date on milk, or maybe that was love, but God bless him, that man can read a phone book and make you feel the pathos.
On the story front, things unfold exactly as you would guess; not one surprise squeezed in anywhere - no matter how hard you look! Nonetheless, with Aguilera and Cher grabbing centre stage, there shouldn't be any vocal issues to contend with.
- Cast: Cher, Christina Aguilera, Eric Dane, Cam Gigandet, Stanley Tucci
- Director: Steven Antin
- Rating: PG15
