How often do you wake up just thinking, ‘Urgh, I can’t wait for today to be over?’
Here’s another question: When was the last time you couldn't wait to see what tomorrow would bring? For many like Ashlesha Menon, a Dubai-based sales professional, that kind of excitement is a distant memory, a relic of childhood birthdays and the unadulterated joy of unwrapping presents at midnight. As adults, some experience bursts of anticipation – a big project, a vacation, and a significant milestone – yet these moments often feel fleeting.
It's as if life's spark gradually dims, replaced by a sense of routine. It doesn't necessarily mean unhappiness, but it might indicate a loss of zest for living. You just know what tomorrow brings: You don’t shed tears over it, but you aren’t jumping for joy either.
So, what happens to us in life, between the child who eagerly anticipated birthdays and the adult who just wants to escape the day? Psychologists attribute this shift to various factors, some circumstantial, others psychological, including career plateauing, relationship challenges, and a reluctance to step outside the comfort zones.
This gradual change in perspective is often accompanied by a re-evaluation of our priorities. While milestones and achievements continue to shape our lives, a subtle shift occurs, and the thrill of anticipation begins to wane.
‘The shift in priorities…’
According to Annaliese Gomez, a Dubai-based psychologist, many people are no longer the ambitious, career-driven people they were in their twenties. She says, “The youth is filled with boundless possibilities. You’re on the threshold of a new life. You go through a flurry of relationships, heartbreaks, while attending job interviews, looking to fulfill your dream of a perfect job. Of course life is exciting and thrilling at that time. You are changing, and so is the world around you.”
However, as you grow older, settle into a stable job, a marriage and children, the priorities go through a shift. You transform into someone who cherishes the simple joy of attending your child’s piano concert, as much as closing a project at work, explains Gomez. “While this evolution is both natural and admirable, sometimes, it can also create internal conflict. Many people start questioning their life goals and aspirations, and ask themselves this question: ‘Where did my life go?’” They start feeling pressured to have it all figured out, as a new era of expectations has been ushered in. “The weight of responsibility can feel overwhelming, as you’re juggling personal aspirations, family goals and career goals,” she adds. Some become mechanical about their life, and live on autopilot.
As Laura Smith, a Dubai-based psychologist explains, "Many people find themselves trapped in a paradoxical situation. They yearn for change but are paralysed by fear. This often manifests in enduring unfulfilling jobs due to the familiarity they provide. Additionally, the belief that it's too late to pursue new endeavours and the fear of failure can be formidable barriers."
Many, who have the option, seek to revitalise their lives by turning passions into professions. While this can be fulfilling for some, it often backfires, explains Smith.
‘I mixed my passion and work: Not the best idea’
The adage ‘do what you love’ is a double-edged sword.
The excitement that comes with pursuing a passion can quickly fade when it becomes a job. It leads to feeling overworked and a decline in enthusiasm, explains Smith. “There’s a pressure to perform, and meeting deadlines can stifle creativity and spontaneity.”
Several people wholeheartedly agree with this: Dubai-based Mitali Shukla, a media professional regrets turning writing into a profession. Words no longer flow as effortlessly as before, except when writing for work. “I’ve forgotten what it is, to write for myself,” she says. On her days off, she doesn’t even want to look at her laptop. “It does make me frustrated and upset at times that I don’t pursue the writing that was once therapeutic for me.”
The excitement dwindles when your hobby is also your profession, agrees Abu Dhabi-based Nicola Heyes, an Irish expat and literary marketing professional. “I’ve always loved reading and used to be so excited at the thought of new books. Now, it’s all I’m dealing with, every day, so on my days off, I don’t even feel like reading,” she says.
To counteract this, Smith suggests a novel approach to reigniting passion and excitement: Explore a new hobby. A change of pace and a fresh challenge can revitalise your interest in previous pursuits. “By introducing new stimuli, you might rediscover the joy and creativity that once fuelled your passions,” she says.
Finding excitement again
So is there a way of finding this excitement again? Of course, agree the psychologists: It does require an overhaul in mindsets, working to let go of past regrets, dwelling on mistakes that you once made, and just acknowledging your present.
For starters, stewing in the past, or worrying excessively about the future can significantly diminish our overall well-being, explains Gomez. This mental time travel robs us of the present moment, a crucial ingredient for happiness and fulfillment. So, shift your focus to what is, rather than what isn’t. “We need to stop reacting to life on autopilot, reacting instinctively without conscious thought. This lack of self-awareness can leave us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled, adrift in uncertainty about our purpose and desires.” So cultivate that sense of self-awareness first, which involves challenging our limiting beliefs, confronting fears, and honestly acknowledging our desires. By understanding our patterns, triggers, and the impact of our thoughts and emotions, we can begin to shape our reality intentionally. Another important aspect: Letting go of relationships that hurt you. “Toxic, hurtful relationships also erode our excitement in life,” says Gomez.
‘An exciting life doesn’t mean something fantastic’
Once you achieve this form of self-awareness, you might find yourself armed with a different perspective towards life. As Smith says, “An exciting life doesn’t quite necessarily mean something grand or fantastic; it means finding happiness again in just your daily life, trying different things, and slowly working towards a new morning where you think, ‘So what will this day bring?’” It’s also deeply subjective. Excitement can be in anything, from the smallest things like giving your house a new makeover, or just learning to bake. “Essentially, you prioritise your well-being, and that can give you a renewed look at life,” explains Gomez.
The good news is, you can always bring back that lost spark. UAE residents provide stories of how they strive to find this excitement wherever they go: Amber Barron, a Dubai-based public relations professional found love in kite-surfing. “I needed to get out of the everyday routine, and it had been a while since I did something for the first time. It wasn't easy but definitely liberating,” she shares.
I needed to get out of the everyday routine, and it had been a while since I did something for the first time. It wasn't easy but definitely liberating
Some like to crank up the excitement by several notches, like 67-year-old Mita Srinivasan, a Dubai-based businesswoman and entrepreneur. “I climbed Killi for my 50th birthday, Everest Base Camp for 55th, scaled Leh for my 60th and did a road trip from Lhasa to Kathmandu.” Meanwhile, Saranya Rustagi, a Dubai-based public relations professional turned to playing piano in her forties: It’s these little changes that made life more worthwhile, in the middle of running between work and the household chores.
Ultimately, finding excitement is a personal journey. “Whether it involves pursuing a new hobby, reconnecting with old passions, or simply appreciating the small joys of life, the key lies in taking proactive steps to create a more fulfilling existence,” summarises Smith.
