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• Ask your child, “Am I over-involved? Is it helpful or harmful to you? How would you like me to be involved?”

• Getting your child into the wrong college, signed up for extra-curriculars that don’t interest him, is misrepresenting who your child is. He will end up in a life he didn’t want.

• “The best way parents can help their kids is to give them the tools to do things themselves,” said Paparella Ganjian, an educational consultant.

• Experts say parents need to stop all the hovering, doing everything for their children.

• What they need to do instead is to allow them to fail so they can learn how to succeed. Parents need to acknowledge that life is more pressure-filled for children today.