Those of us who are lucky enough to have grandparents still in our midst, or are grandparents ourselves, have probably been feted and made to feel special as Grandparents’ Day came and went.

When our grandparents were alive, none of these commemorative dates had percolated down to the towns we lived in — if they had been created at all! Neither our parents nor we thought about making a special statement on an appointed day, but we did go to meet our only surviving grandparent regularly and we always looked forward to it.

Our paternal grandmother, the only grandparent who lived long enough for us to interact with, had so many children that I am sure she had lost count of her grandchildren — and their names — but her hugs were unfailingly loving and her cupboard was an eternal source of goodies. And, once the hugging and the giving ritual was over, we were not under any pressure to be in her company and would wander off and have adventures of all kinds with cousins and servants and whoever else was around.

Grandma kept boarders in her two-storey house and at any given time about half a dozen young men, who had just started working or were in college, were staying in her house.

The small amount they paid for their boarding and lodging augmented her meagre pension and she didn’t have to worry much about feeding them as she had her trusted cook to do the needful.

Those young men enjoyed the ‘home’ atmosphere and Grandma felt safe with people and activity in the many rooms that had been built because she’d had a cricket team of children.

Rights

Naturally, we laid claim to those boarders and descended on them — or rather, ran up to their rooms — when we visited. It didn’t matter to us that they were studying or catching up on their sleep or just wanted their privacy. They were in our grandmother’s house and therefore we had rights over them!

Shooing us away, chasing us up to the roof, trying to lock themselves in and keep us out — in fact, any tactics they used — were construed to be a part of an elaborate game and we would have the time of our lives — and we attributed all that to being in Grandma’s house!

The trusted cook, too, was a source of entertainment. He must have been really good at his job because despite having to feed a large household with the help of a wood stove (with labour-intensive items like cutlets and Scotch eggs being regularly set on the table), he managed to find time to tell us stories about our common home state, the goings-on in the house, the visits of other cousins, and most important, he would even gave us a taste of whatever it was he was cooking! All guaranteed to make us feel good about our visit to Grandma!

Grandparents today seem more ‘hands-on’. Many of them babysit grandchildren to enable their offspring to fly high in their careers and you see them spinning stories of the gadget-free world they lived in or themselves listening to long-winded tales from youngsters delighted to have a rapt and non-judgmental audience — all the things they probably had no time and no patience for when they were bringing up their own children — but all guaranteed to make the new generation feel good about their grandparents.

For modern grandparents, large houses and the faithful family retainers have been left behind, home cooked meals may sometimes be replaced by pizzas and storytelling by watching a cartoon show in the company of a delighted child, but as long as there are grandparents — and grandchildren — there is sunshine in everyone’s lives.

 

Cheryl Rao is a journalist based in India.