Prospective couples, young and idealistic couples, mature but still hopeful couples — everyone looks forward to Valentine's Day to dream a bit, to think of the will-be's and could-be's or, sadly, the should-be's.

And for those who are not in any kind of partnership, this could be the time to count one's blessings. Yes. Count them. Because there's always six of one and half a dozen of the other when we think of married bliss/blitz in comparison to singledom. True, there's someone to support us when we stumble and a 24/7 companion to unwind with… but there's also an opponent to spar with, a deaf ear to talk to, a scathing tongue to listen to...and…there's someone who picks up the newspaper as he opens his eyes — and doesn't let go until he's well and truly done with it!

Singletons never face that situation. They probably look at the headlines bright and early, then go to do something else and when they come back to pick up the newspaper it is still where they left it — not untidily thrown over the towel rack in the bathroom or stuffed between the cushions of the sofa or in some other unlikely place!

Imagine being numero uno, who gets to read the paper from cover to cover - front page, small print, editorial, comics — everything that is worth reading, without someone else spiriting it away!

Think about it. There's no need to hurry back from a morning walk to grab at least the magazine section; no reason to strain failing eyesight to get a glimpse of the headlines over someone else's shoulder; no resorting to stealth tactics to hide the newspaper to get first dibs on whatever we had started reading; no search and rescue missions to save damp and scrunched up pages from the toilet and rearrange them and get them back into shape; no missing pages or irretrievably lost ones that have floated over the balcony or gone into the dustbin along with the orange rind and banana peels…

During our working lives, we had long stretches of separation when the spouses were out on business trips. That's when we wives caught up on ‘me' time: some of us using the extra space in the house and the free time to complete long put off projects like cutting and sewing new curtains or painting a mural.

Constant company

But what we relished more than the time and space to ourselves was the chance to be number one in the house. We got to grab the newspaper first! We could read, ponder, analyse — all the things that we had no time for in our everyday joint chaotic day.

Then retirement came and the sudden constant company became terrifyingly tiring. Personal space was invaded. More than that, the precious time I'd had to myself earlier to savour the second cup of coffee, finish breakfast at leisure and put my legs up with the newspaper was gone.

Now there was someone else to serve that second coffee to and while I was doing it, that same someone made off with the newspapers like it was his divine right to get to the heart of all happenings — local, national and international — before anyone else!

Months of this had us snapping at each other until we finally agreed that we needed a break. So off went the man of the house to the land of his ancestors and up went my feet to enjoy a few weeks of solitude. No meals to cook, no clothes and shoes to retrieve from various corners of the house, nothing out of place — and the newspaper all to myself every morning!

In my lexicon, being single and loving it is also a way of life!

 

Cheryl Rao is a journalist based in India.