Living with a depressed mum
Millions of children are caught in the web of maternal depression. As many as one in four women will suffer from this biological illness at some point in her lifetime, according to UK-based newspaper, The Guardian. Not only is a child with a depressed parent two to four times more likely to develop depression himself before adulthood, but extensive research has shown that a mother’s depression, especially when untreated, can interfere with her child’s social, emotional and cognitive development.
It can be a tremendous challenge for depressed mothers to provide many of the things that children need most – affection, patience, playfulness and consistent limit-setting. Not surprisingly, clinically depressed mothers are self-critical and indecisive, so that every choice — from what to make for dinner to how warm to dress the baby — can seem overwhelming.
To this day, it’s difficult for me to address my feelings regarding my mother and how she completely turned my life on its head. Subconsciously, I think I always knew something wasn’t right. But being a child, I never knew what was happening. My mother used to get angry, cry for no reason and numerous fights used to happen at home. It was all so scary and I never had the guts to question what was going on around me.
Every time she falls to a low point, I live in fear. I get tense. My friends question me about the changes in my personality. How do I say: “I can’t move past the fear that my mother will become worse today”? How do I get to the stage of being able to tell her how her illness has shaped my life, too? Should I ever? I don’t have a clue.
From Ms Veronica
UAE
Full name withheld on request
Surprise inspections
I would like to suggest to the Knowledge and Human Development Authority (KHDA) to arrange surprise inspections in schools so that they can observe the reality of what is actually happening on a day-to-day basis (‘KHDA gets more powers to manage schools’, Gulf News, February 5). It’s observed that most schools organise fake activities for the sake of KHDA inspections and after their visit, they go back to their normal routine.
From Ms Abida Naveed Malik
UAE
Facebook comment
Duterte’s decision
It’s a matter of respect for the president of a country and his immigration laws (‘Duterte tells overstaying US Filipinos to return home’, Gulf News, February 5). These people are undocumented and the US has every right to deport every one of them. With what right can the Philippines President defend illegal immigrants who are on American soil? I think Rodrigo Duterte has made the right move.
From Mr B. Bin Hamdan
Abu Dhabi
Facebook comment
Hope he has a plan
I hope Duterte’s pronouncement of getting Filipinos to return to the Philippines comes with a corresponding alternative plan for their livelihood so that they can survive. It affects 300,000 people, so it is not a big joke. It will create more adversity for unemployed Filipinos in the country and also have an extreme impact on the country economically, due to its effect on remittances.
From Mr Rooi Delgarlegoo Impotado
UAE
Facebook comment
Illegal migration
Being undocumented and overstaying in a foreign country is also no joke. That is what this news is pertaining to. It is not the Philippines’ government’s responsibility to secure citizenship and visas to foreign countries for said individuals.
From Mr Tin C.
UAE
Facebook comment
Obey the rules!
What I want to say to motorcycle riders is to please obey the traffic rules (‘17 motorcyclists killed in Dubai last year’, Gulf News, February 5)! Don’t be in such a hurry. Most of the time, especially at red traffic signals, I have seen motorcyclists pushing to the front and jumping the signal, because they never want to wait behind another vehicle. Please don’t do that. If the signal turns green at the same time as when a motorcyclist tries to edge in, in front of another car, what will happen? Stop and think.
From Mr Krishna Kharel
Dubai
Facebook comment
What logic?
A motorcyclist once came up behind my car at high speed. He then made a dangerous manoeuvre before a roundabout to get in front of me. As he went across the roundabout, he slowed down and almost stopped in the middle of the road to look at his mobile phone! He then got angry at me for honking my horn!
From Mr Michael Dowds
Dubai
Facebook comment
Everyone rushes
Well, of course they make mistakes, but wouldn’t it be great if we could give them the right of way, especially during the summer? I have seen many motorists never give way to bikers and school buses. Everyone is in a hurry, so let’s not blame anyone.
From Ms Teena Ferns
Dubai
Facebook comment
Tip of the iceberg
The Gulf News Special Report on the harmful impact of high sugar consumption was very informative (‘No sugar coated truths in this story’, Gulf News, February 5). Love it or hate it, sugar is an unavoidable part of our daily diet. We consume it every day, be it with a cup of tea every morning or a variety of fruits, rice, milk and various other edible things that we consume. Sugar can be found in many forms, even in items that boast having no sugar or low fat content. There is sugar in some form or another in most edible items that we sometimes fail to notice.
While natural sugar may not do harm to our bodies, refined sugar, which contains a whole bunch of calories without vitamins, proteins, minerals and other nutrients, is detrimental to the body. Consuming it can cause insulin resistance, obesity and can be a cause of hyperactivity in children. It is also a stepping stone to metabolic syndrome, weight gain, hormonal imbalances, high cholesterol, heart ailments and diabetes. The empty calories in it are only the tip of the iceberg.
Many health specialists and nutritionists are of the opinion that dramatic changes can take place in a person’s health if refined sugar consumption is limited. However, cutting off sugar completely is difficult as we are conditioned from an early age to respond. Perceptions, attitudes and lifestyles have to be changed. Educating people on the potential dangers and consequences of ignoring health advice will do a great deal of good. This valuable report is a great start for a healthy lifestyle.
From Ms Jayashree Kulkarni
Abu Dhabi
An eye opener
Kerala, India, has always been distant from incidents of acid attacks and honour killings, which made it even more shocking and disturbing for me to learn about the recent incident where a young man and woman lost their lives due to a failed love affair (‘Jilted lover, woman he set on fire die’, Gulf News, February 3). The fact that both victims were educated proves us wrong in thinking that education makes a person wiser. Are we doing the right thing in pushing our children into academics without giving them proper psychological support? We expect too much from our children and often compare them with other children who excel in studies.
The stress a child faces, right from his school days, with a heavy syllabus and various projects, does not end after school. In universities, they are exposed to harsher conditions, staying away from family in shared living accommodations and often at the mercy of their teachers for good grades. All this stress makes them vulnerable to different vices. Some find solace in affairs. Sometimes, these affairs do not materialise and turn tragic, as in this case. It was most unfortunate for the boy to have taken such a drastic step. The accused and the victim are not alive for us to hear their version or the facts that led to such an incident. But this should serve as an eye-opener for us all – parents, teachers, friends and students.
From Mr Eappen Elias
Dubai
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