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Mastery over emotions doesn’t mean suppressing emotions. Mastery over emotions is obtained by correct knowledge, the quality of which is spiritual and the answers of which can’t be found in the material aspects or mind logic. It is in the remit of the heart that you can touch the purity aspect of you.

Walls to Authentic Self

Mastery over emotions is neither suppression nor control. Mastery implies understanding the root causes of afflictions and eliminating them from the psyche so that the emotions don’t behold you. When emotions don’t behold you, you experience freedom. All our lives we may try to control our emotions and claim we are masters in emotion-control. That is easy. What is not easy is expanding understanding (the mental aspect), seeing higher knowledge and releasing afflictions. That is because we resist change, we resist expansion.

Resistance is not being ready to understand, discern. It is to keep on doing the same things, keep having the same behaviour that brings misery. Keep complaining, for example, rather than changing things; changing ways to do things differently. That is resistance. As an example, ‘I am right’; the notion of it is resistance, the need to be right , going to lengths to prove you are right; are forms of resistance. ‘I said so’, is a common expression of suchlike narration.

These are walls to authentic self.

Connecting to Real Self

In every one of us, resides a child; pure, authentic, innocent, loving. However, as one grows, several outer layers get added, obscuring the light of that authentic self, that state of pure being-ness. For example, a child’s crying is considered natural but an adult’s crying isn’t. It is questioned (crying is letting go of pent up emotions and can be healthy in several situations. It is a release). Our connection to the child within gets broken, obscured, because a wall gets added. Expression of the inner child is beheld. Resistance.

The expression of the child within, keeps one in purity, innocence, curiosity. Laughter over little things keeps the child alive within. How can one live authentic self? It is by expressing the heart, expressing and living from the space of the heart, not by the hardness of logic; logic can be converted into wisdom by aligning with the heart energy. By being like a child; not clinging on to fixed notions, by connecting to heart wisdom.

Suppression of Authentic Self

There is suppression instead of expression of authentic self, why is that so? This is mostly in order to receive acceptance, approval; approval of society, family members, even approval of self by denying the authentic self. Expression of authentic self may come as a ‘rebellious’ attitude for others, a different attitude, different ways of doing things from the ongoing norm-culture.’ Different’ can be felt intimidating to self as well, and so layers add up.

In order to live an authentic self, go within, self-enquire on things that cause friction within. Do not deny. Pay attention to the expressions you project, they hold the clue to the ongoing inner environment. Pay attention to what is suppressed within.

Self-enquire; investigate the thoughts you hold, beliefs that guide your actions, emotions that you find yourself in. Enquire on aspects such as: What excites me about life? What is it that I am believing in, which is causing me misery? What belief must I change then? What must I believe, in order to make the emotional change? How is it that I want to feel?

Decide. Be aware. Focus on changing emotion/ feeling first and then taking actions. Come to an emotional state first which feels good. Follow the inner calling and live it. Living authentic self is an art of healthy life expression. When done consciously, it feels empowering.

(Urmila Rao’s book, ‘Meditative Musings: Curate your Thoughts to Heal Body, Mind & Soul’, is now on and The book is a collection of 60 writings.)