Do you know someone who drains the energy out of you? It could be a friend or a co-worker who is so unrelentingly negative and critical that you end up feeling depressed, exhausted or sad after spending time with them.
Critical people can be particularly hard to deal with. They are so enveloped in their negativity that they can drag down your mood in an instant with their barrage of vents and complaints. When you talk about a good thing, they counter it with something negative. They like to spew negative, emotionally charged words that really only serves to fuel their misery and pessimism. It’s a never-ending cycle.
However, this is the real world and it is not always possible to avoid the complainers, especially if you have to work with them or live with them, but you can make sure they don’t bring you down too.
Look at it this way: no one can drive your car unless you give them your keys. How we choose to deal with the critical people in our lives and how they affect us is entirely within our own control.
So how do we deal with these people in our path? Limit the amount of time you spend with negative people if you can. The less time you spend with them, the less positive energy you will lose. If you are caught in a conversation with them, excuse yourself by saying you only have a few minutes to talk.
Raise the positivity levels. Often, negative people behave that way because negative experiences have shaped their lives and they aren’t resilient. Remind them that being positive cushions the hard knocks of life and makes it easier to notice and take advantage of the opportunities coming their way.
Try this: for every negative thing they say, respond with something positive. Being remorselessly upbeat will help to diffuse their negativity and they might even absorb some of your life-affirming outlook on life. Sometimes we need to model the behavior we would like to see in others so focus on the good stuff and play down the bad.
The energy we send out to the world is contagious and when we focus on other people's negative energy, we become channels for it, allowing it to spread further into the world. It’s important to be willing to find something positive about these people and try to shift your focus on to that.
Give honest feedback. The natural tendency is to ignore or avoid perennially critical people, but they might not be aware of how negative they are. Use a positive spin to carefully explain that sometimes they see the world in a very pessimistic light and that their behaviour can bring others down as well as restrict their own opportunities. Who knows, they may be willing to change.
Failing this, in the face of persistent pessimism, you can always choose to ignore them. There are critical people who purposely want you to be miserable simply because they are. The best response is to ignore them or politely cut the conversation short because the more you respond to their provocations, the more they will continue their negative attack.
Your instinct may be to try and rescue them or fix their problems, but this can lead you to getting sucked in their bubble of negativity. Let them assume responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings and actions.
When you've just dealt with a downer, take time to recharge your emotional batteries. Listen to some upbeat music, read an inspirational book, watch a fun movie. Create a mental break that puts you in a good mood.
Live life positively and aim to positively inspire the world around you.
