Does success have a deadline?
Dubai-based Nitya Rajgopal doesn’t think so. Her father spent decades in a cycle of unfulfilling jobs until he recently found joy in teaching. After years of seeing him burdened by anxieties and financial constraints, she is relieved to see him relaxed now, surrounded by cards and effusive wishes on special days from his students. “This change encouraged him to try different hobbies now, too. He has started growing a balcony garden and is rather proud of it,” she says.
And so, for anyone questioning the age limit for success, she answers, “You can really taste success at any stage of your life, I think.”
In fact, research actually shows success can blossom at any age.
A US study by the Kellog School of Management at Northwestern University found that the most successful entrepreneurs tend to be middle-aged, even in the tech sector. Analysing data on millions of company founders, researchers discovered the average age of those who founded the most successful tech companies was 45. In simpler terms, a 50-year-old entrepreneur was almost twice as likely to launch a successful company compared to a 30-year-old. Another US study by the National Bureau of Academic Research supports this notion, with the average age of successful entrepreneurs who hire employees being 42.
However, this doesn’t mean success in your twenties or thirties is out of the question. For instance, Abu Dhabi-based Hera Stewart, a British sales professional saw her successful mother retire from public relations in her late fifties and pursue her real dream: Art. Now, she is more content than she has ever been, selling painted postcards, bookmarks and even earrings, now.
Essentially, success needn’t be a race with a finish line defined by age. It’s a rather personal journey, as Claire Mills, a British Abu Dhabi-based psychologist explain. “I think there’s a charm in defining success on your own terms. Financial goals, professional accolades, and personal growth – these are just a few threads that can be woven into your personal ideas of success.”
However, she acknowledges that this is easier said than done, for multiple reasons.
Why do people believe there’s a time limit to success?
Many hold unshakeable ideas of ‘fulfilled dreams’ formed from an early age. As Audrey Hametner, the CEO, The Bedrock Program and Co-President, Ellevate Woman's Network explains, they believe that success hinges on one chance. “Many people have bought into the belief that success is based on chances and opportunities that are limited and if they miss the 'one chance' they won't be successful.”
Another ‘myth’ as she says, is that people have deep-rooted beliefs that you need to make your fortune ‘early in life’. “For example, you are successful, if you have a certain amount of wealth by a certain age. Otherwise, give up, it will never happen.” Such views, as Hametner and Mills add, are perpetuated by societal constructs.
Many people have bought into the belief that success is based on chances and opportunities, that are limited and if they miss the 'one chance' they won't be successful....
In many cases, it is familial pressure and the urge to live up to staggering expectations. Thirty-eight-year-old Alya Shahid, a Dubai-based media professional recalls her parent’s timeline: A high-paying job by your twenties, followed by marriage and a house by your thirties. “They always told me that I should aim for the highest position at my job, and so, as a result, I would feel very anxious and still do, when I look at others. When I see my contemporaries as CEOs of flourishing businesses, I start wondering, have I not done enough? Am I not successful?”
Keeping up with the Joneses
As Mills says, “When you start believing that these rules are set in stone, you feel pressured, anxious and discouraged. You compare yourself to others, and measure your achievements against theirs, especially in terms of finances. Wealth is always a source of anxiety: So, when someone feels their peers are earning more than them, it breeds resentment, listlessness and dissatisfaction. They could be doing well for themselves, and still feel this way.”
As Katy Holmes, CEO, British Chamber of Commerce Dubai, explains, people want to ‘keep up with the Joneses’, which means that they need to match their neighbour’s social status, wealth and popularity that is magnified by social media. So, they work harder to accumulate the same amount of success, which adds more pressure to their lives. “This daily exposure to other people’s success adds additional time pressures, creating stress that may accelerate an ambitious person to take action or cause anxiety in another,” she adds. The pressure of success can be crippling to some and motivating for others, explains Holmes.
This daily exposure to other people’s success adds additional time pressures, creating stress that may accelerate an ambitious person to take action or cause anxiety in another...
These patterns of thought processes seep into the different aspects of your life, impairing you of joy and fulfillment. “It disrupts our ability to listen to our intuition. This prevents us from taking the time to process all the elements we are working with, in pursuit of our success,” adds Hametner. Instead of taking the time and giving ourselves the space to pivot and gain perspectives, we are just hurried to make things work.
So, have you really missed your chance for success?
Success is subjective, a personal feeling shaped by our values, not a rigid deadline dictated by age. Maryanna Newton, a Dubai-based psychiatrist explains, the key lies in defining success on your own terms, not chasing societal ideals that may leave you feeling disillusioned.
As she and Hametner add, success is a rather internal barometer, linked to your values. “When you know what you are aiming for and why, you can identify when you feel fulfilled by that work and identify when you feel successful,” says Hametner. The reason why most of us feel discouraged is that our vision of success is fostered by societal beliefs. “When what you want and society's expectations don't match, many people never feel successful, even though they are."
Success is a feeling, as well, adds Mills. It can take many forms, and for the most part, it can also just be feeling comfortable and confident in your life decisions and ensuring growth through that process.
Human potential can thrive through the decades, as Newton explains. Age isn’t the barrier to success. “Experience, skills, connections, and expertise are what will make you successful,” she says. And lastly, your own belief in turning things around for yourself.
So how do you break free from societal pressures and define success for yourself? Here are a few tips, explains Mills.
Reflect on your values: What truly matters to you in life? Is it financial security, creative expression, making a difference in the world? Identifying your core values provides a foundation for defining success on your terms.
Explore your passions: What activities bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment? Revisit old hobbies or explore new avenues to discover hidden passions.
Focus on progress, not perfection: Celebrate your progress, big or small, and learn from setbacks.
