A few days ago, as I gently pushed a boy's shoulder, a friend from London, in a most casual and friendly manner jesting with him about something, a local onlooker who was a new acquaintance in Kolkata, stared in surprise. I realised as soon as I hit him that this action might be considered too open and not correct in public, especially considering the boy whose shoulder I touched was only a random friend. And so I came to realise certain aspects about the social life here, while staying with a friend's family, things I might not have realised as a traveller staying in a hotel, merely visiting Kolkata.
It was only after this incident that the issue of decorum in this city started becoming more and more apparent. At someone's house I visited, the pictures on the wall were of the couple standing away from each other, not one of them together, arms around each other or hand in hand. It was interesting to observe the conservative nature of life in Kolkata. I did not once see a girl wearing a sleeveless top or with exposed legs. While this might be an indication of backwardness, I realised that their style of dressing and the way they lived was more tasteful and modern than even the way of the Indians who live in London or elsewhere in the world.
As I looked back at the incident that initiated this thought process, I began to wonder about the way visitors to another country carry their culture with them. The exchange between this young boy and me would be a mere nothing in London, Dubai or even in Mumbai, but to really be a part of the society here is to always behave with decorum and respect, to always be on guard, to always maintain that public correctness, perhaps even restraint. Bowing the head when greeting an elder is considered respectful and normal, but this was something I was ever forgetting to do, and each time someone else bowed I would remind myself to copy this action the next time.
And so, a week later, I not only left Kolkata feeling a tad bigger (I tried to resist the tempting feasts but had to give in eventually) but I had also learnt much about and from the people there. And while the former might be worked off soon enough I hope the latter will remain with me, as will the warmth of the family with which I stayed.
— For more from Meera Ashish log on to www.meera-ashish.com
