Come March and the world's attention is on women. But, every year, in March, I go back in time. Oesim Marth or eight of March was celebrated the world over. But, in Kazakhstan it is even more special.

Not so long ago, I spent an entire year in the former capital of Kazakhstan called Almaty. Back then, when the world was not obsessed with internet and when most people weren't aware about International Women's Day, a huge festive spirit took over the streets of Almaty.

While most people in India wondered what ‘all the fuss' was about, Almaty wore a different flavour. Men, from all walks of life, gave flowers or gifts to women they know — be it a friend, a co-worker, cousin, wife or daughter — in appreciation.

Almaty was very different then. There was anticipation before the festival. The local flower vendor had special flowers brought in from many countries. As she stood in the pavement of the snow ridden street, she knew she would have good business the following day. There was a lot of talk among women. They wondered, what presents they would get while the men wondered, what to gift.

To honour a day for women is actually a Soviet tradition I was told. Oesim Marth was declared a public holiday in the early 1960s. The women took the day off from their routine work to honour the day. Men brought in the breakfast and cooked the meals if they were generous enough. Most women — young and old alike — have received flowers and gifts since then. Kazakhstan, a part of the erstwhile Soviet Union, is only continuing the tradition.

On that cold evening of March years ago, my husband walked into the house with his friends. They gave me flowers, CD and a box of chocolates. It felt rather strange to receive gifts on a day when I had nothing to celebrate.

Later that evening, as I walked along the narrow snow ridden streets, strangers stopped by to greet. Some of them just smiled and the local flower vendor held out a flower. By the end of the day, I had been greeted by so many people that it no longer felt strange. However, a nagging feeling lurked inside me all along. There was something about the celebrations that just didn't feel right.

Coming from a country with a high rate of female infanticide this celebration seemed very superficial. I thought about my own experiences growing up as a person belonging to the fairer sex.

Cynical remarks

It was not just those big challenges I had faced. There were other things. I had lost out on hot meals because the men ate first, I had lost out on TV viewing because I had to help mum in the kitchen because the men continued the privilege of watching TV, I was and I still am the target of obscene comments and also a source of entertainment for those with a dirty mind. I could go on and yet, every cynical remark, gesture and insult couldn't be overlooked because I received flowers one day. It just didn't seem right.

That cold night in Almaty, I had a revelation. It was not about the flowers or the gender or the gifts. I had enjoyed the attention and I wanted to savour it. There was just one thing that was forgotten amidst all the grandeur — respect and dignity. This didn't come in a bouquet once a year. It came in small gestures every day.

Years later, Almaty's memories come back to me and brings with it some hope. Yes. If there were no discrimination then, there need not be a day called Oesim Marth but strangely that is also the day, when a girl in a remote corner of the world can hope for a brighter future with dignity and respect.

 

Sudha Subramanian is an independent journalist based in Dubai.