Two actors meet on the set. Romance brews. The actor then files for divorce and commits to a full-time romance with the actress. Love spikes. Marriages are rife. The lovers put the ring to it, and within a year, put a thing to it — divorce. But then the plot thickens.
The actress went on to write a column for the Washington Post, branding herself as the ‘celebrity representing domestic violence’, denting the image of the famous actor. The actor throws a defamation suit. The drama begins. Netflix, are you listening?
No this isn’t my pitch to any OTT platform. It’s the Johny Depp — Amber Heard love and hate story.
Begs me to think, People in important places don’t shy away from displaying personal life drama for public consumption while married friends back home won’t dare talk about domestic strife.
‘Mental Stimulation’
I met a friend recently. Keeps posting pictures of his girlfriend and their dog. Happy Insta family. I asked him what were their marriage plans?
“You know, everything is great. She looks after me really good. She cleans up well and I like to flaunt her. We are physically compatible and to top it all, my mom likes her too. Yet, she doesn’t stimulate me mentally. And that’s why I fear, I may not be able to continue this situationship for too long. While my mind has almost convinced me that I’m not going to get anyone better, but the heart, I don’t know what it wants,” he noted.
“Everything is good, but something is amiss, and I’m not getting any younger, what to do,” he turned to me as though I’m Doctor Love.
‘Waiting for the right time’
Another friend who has been married for 4 years.
“I’m just waiting for the girls to grow up before I could move out. We are so disconnected from each other. I think mentally we’ve moved on from each other. On a recent holiday, we booked a twin-bed room. I was about to get back and change things for good, but then his mother fell sick and then I couldn’t leave him alone. So, I’m sticking around for the sake of ‘good ol’ days.’”
‘First break-up after divorce’
A friend of mine, 33, got herself back into the dating pool after a divorce that left her bruised. “It had been a while since the divorce and I kind of miss being stressed out in love,” she said. And soon as she found herself a Jack, she saw her feelings hit the iceberg.
“Now I’m an experienced person, he was charming and loving, but I could see his controlling issues. It hurts like an itch to let this go, but I’d rather have more break ups than another divorce.”
If you’re reading this, let me be your RJ, and put on that song for you: Tubthumping Chumbawamba — I get knocked down, But I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down.
A friend who’s contemplating divorce recently shared a link that states “Divorce rates are low in India”, asking whether she’s quitting too soon?
'People change, feelings change'
It is no surprise that most relationships are based on compromise. But the stress should be on whether the compromise is made for the right partner.
People struggle in bad marriages and relationships with the wrong person, and that’s when life loses its meaning. People stick with each other because they are married.
While the only reason a couple should stick together is because of love and fondness for each other. When it becomes a duty, then nobody wants to come back to it after an 8-hour shift already.
In 500 days of Summer the actress says, “People change, feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true or real.”
This should be widely discussed. Love is not immortal. Some people are lucky to strike love with lifetime validity, but some of us run out of its fuel. And when it happens, we should acknowledge it. Not resent, control, or try to obtain the past version of it out of our partners.
Love, if you’re lucky, Keep at it! Write your stories. Fill us with hope. But love, if you’re not-so-lucky, still write your stories, and let people find each other to share their experiences. Don’t be a lovelorn, stuck in a tag of relationship because you don’t know any better.
A potential love could be stalking your profile. And who doesn’t love an upgrade.
Ashish Dewani is an avid traveller and writer. Twitter: @a5hush
