Some people are difficult to talk to – they seemingly do not listen, blame others, respond to requests with unrelated demands, and are generally driven to be the centre of attention. Psychologists have a name for people with this kind of personality: a high-conflict person.
Click start to play today’s Word Search, where “associate” can quickly turn into “adversary” when people exhibit such behaviour.
Dealing with high-conflict behaviour can be stressful and disconcerting. Most people get swept into the whirlwind of chaos by mirroring the same behaviour, and eventually end up regretting it. According to tips by US-based High Conflict Institute and American author Bill Eddy, who wrote the book 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, here are some ways of dealing with and debating with hostile people in any setting:
1. Don’t take it personally
High-conflict behaviour is not designed for problem-solving. The person is likely more involved in performing a drama for others, rather than doing anything productive. So, don’t defend yourself, because that’s the point at which you can fall into the rabbit hole.
2. Don’t engage in emotional confrontation
“When you are done, I will continue.” Use it as a mantra in the face of aggressive behaviour. A confident expression and calm body language until the other person exhausts him/herself works better than attempting to argue with or rein in the high-conflict person. Looking weak or intimidated, on the other hand, can fuel the person’s aggressiveness.
3. Provide objective information
Use information rather than emotional responses so that you don’t get dragged down in the mud. Using a data-driven response is like pouring cold water on the flames – for this, make sure you do your homework and are informed about the subject. If you are interrupted, see the previous point.
4. Ask for the high-conflict person’s proposal on solving issues
Remain firmly in high-minded discussions by keeping the focus on objective information and solutions. Tell the person to explain their views, because you want to understand – this helps you look interested without appearing intimidated.
The key is to refrain from getting emotional and to stay focused on the point of issue or debate.
Have you ever dealt with high-conflict people? Play today’s Word Search and tell us at games@gulfnews.com.
