Struggling after moving to a new home? Why it's hard and how to emotionally adjust

The familiar sights were gone: The small shops with red roofs that sold dumplings, the little cafés that dotted the street near her home, the street dogs that would come running to her for food in the morning. All of that was left behind in Delhi. This was Dubai now.  The new place was pretty too, but it wasn’t home. Yet.

Dubai-based Ameetha Bandyopadhyay, a homemaker recalls her first few ‘stressful’ years after moving to Dubai, following her marriage. “I missed my Delhi home, and everything about it, so much, and the new house just felt so intimidating. The grocery stores were far away, and I didn’t know my way around, and would still get lost. I couldn’t sleep properly for nights because everything just seemed so alien. I never knew that I would feel something like that. It took me over two years, to finally fall in love with our new home and accept it,” she says.

‘A sense of loss and grief’

There’s a sense of loss and unspoken grief when you move to a new place, from a home that you have lived in for years. You grieve for the old sights, sounds and smells, explains Kenyashree Raman, an Abu Dhabi-based entrepreneur. “You feel frustrated when you don’t know the way home, or even the people who live next-door. I felt this strongly, when I moved from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. I missed greetings of our neighbours in the hallways, or just genuinely the sounds of people going about their lives. It is a very disorienting feeling, and I kept fearing the silence in our new surroundings,” she says.

The silence is deafening.

Why it’s hard to let go of the old

Aida Suhaimi, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist explains, “Moving to a new home is always hard. Whenever someone moves, it's about adapting and transitioning from a place of comfort--- a place where they've called home for a long time, or maybe even a short while. So, moving means, also adjusting to that change, and change is always difficult for anyone.” The move itself, or the build-up to the move, causes much anxiety too.

Miranda Payne, a Dubai-based stress specialist adds, “It’s also a matter of our perception. Everything seems infinitely unfamiliar. You have new neighbours, who might not be as accommodating as the previous ones. You find yourself missing even the people who worked at the grocery stores; they knew what you liked. So, the resentment starts building up, and getting entangled with deep anxiety.”

Why the move can be harder on children

Payne also explains this impact that it has on children, as these are very formative experiences for them. “Children often take longer to adjust to a new home because they rely heavily on familiarity, routine, and a sense of security. Unlike adults, they have less control over the move and may struggle to understand or process the changes,” she says.

Moreover, unlike adults, who have experience adapting socially, children often struggle with making new friends, especially if they’re introverted or shy. The fear of starting over in a new school or neighbourhood can be overwhelming. Furthermore, for younger children, abstract concepts like “we’re moving to a new home” are harder to grasp. They may fear things like: Will my friends forget me? Will my pet be okay? The unknown can feel worrying and stressful.

This was the case with Payne’s 11-year-old son, after moving to Dubai from London. “Not just a new home, it was a new country. Everything was new. And he was withdrawn and quiet in school, refused to make friends and his academics suffered. I was overwhelmed too, because it was a new place for me too, and I regret being impatient with him in the early days,” remembers Payne. Finally, with the help from his school teachers, she slowly ensured that he build friendships, at least one at a time. It was painstakingly slow process, as he constantly remembered his old friends and would insist on returning home. “After a year, he finally made a friend. He started coming for walks with me, and we joined cycling tours together. That helped, and he finally accepted UAE as home,” she says.

Overcoming moving anxiety

It’s painful and takes time as Payne’s own experience showed.  So before anything else, be a little kind to yourself. It’s never easy to let go of the old.

Suhaimi suggests two key methods for overcoming the anxiety associated with moving to a new home: solution-focused strategies and emotion-focused strategies.

Solution-focused strategies involve thorough planning and organization to minimise potential issues. This includes preparing in advance, hiring reliable movers, ensuring the old home is properly managed before departure, and making sure the new space is ready to accommodate your belongings. These strategies require meticulous scheduling and the right support system to prevent as many challenges as possible. The goal is to proactively address logistical concerns to make the transition smoother.

However, even with the most detailed planning, unforeseen challenges can still arise. This is where emotion-focused strategies become essential. These strategies help individuals manage the emotional impact of moving, making the transition and adjustment period calmer and less overwhelming. If you take time to adapt to new environments, it’s important to focus on self-care—staying relaxed, talking through difficulties, and acknowledging the emotional toll of the move.

For those with underlying mental health conditions, moving can be particularly triggering. It’s crucial to stay aware of early warning signs of distress and seek support as needed. Recognising and addressing emotional responses early can help maintain overall well-being during the transition.