‘Why I let my 3-year-old get into acting’: UAE mum
Go behind-the-scenes with two child actors
“Mommy, me there,” cried almost three-year-old Kyan Ayass pointing at a giant billboard on Sheikh Zayed Road. He knew that’s what he wanted, say his parents, Bassam and Mya Ayass, in an interview with Gulf News. “He just pointed because he didn't know how to speak. So I thought wow, ‘what a genius idea’. He really wanted to be on a billboard,” recalls Mya four years on.
Once she got home, the Lebanese-American expat registered him with a talent agency. Two weeks later, the shoots would begin. During one of his assignments, his sister, who is a year younger than him, asked her mum if she could be a model like her big brother. “I said, ‘yeah, you can try and if you like it, let me know’. I started with e-commerce, because e-commerce is the hardest thing … they have to change 50 outfits in five hours and do the exact same poses for five hours,” says Mya.
“They loved every single bit of it. So then I knew they were definitely ready to do bigger jobs,” she adds.
How does school work?
The now six-and-seven-year-old stars still go to school, have play dates with friends and do extra-curricular activities – they just do these things with a difference. “So they go to school, and the days that they miss school, the teachers send me all the activities that were done in class. Sometimes I do it with them on the same day, but most of the days, they have long shoots, so I wait for the weekend,” says Mya.
Bassam adds: “We are very, very lucky to have a supportive school. They have been extremely supportive of the kids’ new hobby, they encourage us to go ahead with it, because they believe, like we believe, that these life experiences are absolutely priceless. You know, it builds character, it gives the kids confidence.
“They're meeting people left, right and centre, and you could put them in any situation and they come out of it on top.
“So we just let the school know if they are going out of town or will be skipping school for a few days. And they immediately send us homework. They’ve been very flexible with us.”
There is a caveat to all this showbiz stuff though. “Mya and I have made a deal behind-the-scenes, that at any given moment if we feel that they are falling short from an academic perspective, we would put everything on hold. Because obviously, education is the number one [priority]. Thankfully, both kids are excelling from an academic perspective.”
Bassam says he’s impressed by his son’s composure in various circumstances. “We had a shoot in Abu Dhabi,” he recalls. “It was him and me - we went there for two nights. And I told him, ‘Kyan, this is your shoot, you're the boss, I'm just here as a chaperone. So you lead the way; you decide what we have to do all day, every day.’ So he actually checked himself into the hotel, decided where we would go to dinner, ordered his own food.
“I was so impressed by how responsible and independent he was. So that's an example of being more responsible. Other examples are when he meets strangers or adults. Both kids are very open, they're approachable, respectful, they talk politely to people. They they're a lot more mature than others their age. And we see that amongst their friends as well.”
Long days
Lights, camera, action. Cut. Lights, camera, action. Cut. Lights … and on and on it goes, day after day. But considering the ages of these actors, the long hours can take a toll. “You could plan as much as you want to plan, but at the end of the day, the plan never comes to reality in terms of timing. So it really depends on the shoot. Sometimes they tell you it's a half-day shoot, which is approximately four to five hours. Other days it's a full-day shoot,” explains Bassam. Recently, Kyan was booked for a three-week campaign that saw him jetting across continents. “The longest time we've shot is for 12 hours,” says the dad of two, who has called the UAE his home since 2003.
It all depends on their co-stars and the storyline, say the proud parents. The kids, they say, are focused. “They don't like to take breaks in between and all that … they want to do it perfectly and be done. Recently, Kyan was a part of a Dubai Tourism shoot. When Kyan was done with his Dubai Tourism shoot, he was crying because he didn't want it to end,” says Maya.
In fact, laughs Bassam, “When we want to be stern with them, we tell them to listen or we won’t let them do shoots anymore.”
The focus on the sets, say both parents, has petered down into their daily lives as well. “When we talk to their teachers, they always tell us, we're so amazed that we don't have to repeat ourselves. And that's because they got used to instructions from directors; they have to do it right the first time around; they really, really pay attention,” says Mya.
And it’s fuelled their curiosity. She adds: “They ask a lot of questions. And I feel that they know what they want at this age, which is amazing. Because, you know, as a parent, I don't want to force them to do something they don't like.”
Passion for what you do is important, especially if you are going to do it day after day. Bassam exclaims: “I think that's the most important thing. If your kids don't like it, they'll never be successful. If they don't love something, then drop it move on to the next thing. And we've done that with everything, like from football to gymnastics to motor cross. I mean, we, we provide our children with the opportunity of all kinds of different activities, whatever sticks, we stick to it, and we take it as far as we can. And with this, it just so happened that both kids love it so much that we've taken it far.”
That doesn’t mean the tots are jumping at everyone’s beck and call though. Mya explains that the family is selective – the actors themselves get a say on their projects. “And that gives them a sense of responsibility. So if you have committed to something you need to see it through,” adds Bassam.
Showbiz is notorious for requiring sacrifice – especially from the parents of children on set. “I think it's a mind-set that you need to shift. I don't think of it as a challenge. It's become part of our daily life routine. We're very lucky that Mya does not have a nine to six job. So we have that flexibility and freedom. Look, every parent dedicates their life to their children. I'm here today and in a corporate setting, working just to provide for my children the best lives they can ever have. So I wouldn't say it's a challenge. I think you need to embrace it,” says Bassam.
Balancing act
Do late nights often hurtle into school days? No, but there needs to be a plan in case it does.
“On school days, they're in bed by seven, we read a story every night, and then they are asleep by 7.30pm,” explains Bassam. But there are exceptions. “On certain occasions when they have a shoot and they stay up late, we would have given the kids a heads-up and said, ‘look there’s school tomorrow, are you able to manage it? Or do you want to skip school tomorrow, because it's a late night?’ About 99.9 per cent of the time they end up going to school. If they stay up late, we compensate for the sleep with down time the next day.”
These kids also have their own YouTube channel where they showcase the activities they like. But, admit the parents, chasing likes is a slippery slope. “We admit it is very risky. And we don't want any issues in the future where they they're going to measure their success based on people's interaction with them on social media. So we tried to hide that from them as much as possible. So far it's been working for us. Obviously, they're exposed. I mean, they see others like Mr. Beast with millions and millions of subscribers. We keep telling them, we don't care about those numbers. You do what you think is good and what you feel good about.”
Be observant
Arfa Banu Khan, Clinical Psychologist at Aster Jubilee Medical Complex, Bur Dubai explains that for child stars, social media dynamics are not always easy to navigate. She says: “Stardom comes along with a lot of social responsibilities and being a public figure you are always under scrutiny and observation by millions of people around. Things become difficult when we talk about child artists who may not understand how to manage this social pressure.
Children may find it difficult to manage the compliments, criticisms and pressure that comes along with stardom. They have to balance between their education, career and personal and public life, which naturally puts them into pressure of balancing. Parents can be watchful about the mental health of their children
“Children may find it difficult to manage the compliments, criticisms and pressure that comes along with stardom. They have to balance between their education, career and personal and public life, which naturally puts them into pressure of balancing. Parents can be watchful about the mental health of their children and understand the signs and symptoms. Any change in child’s normal behaviour including change in sleep, appetite, irritability, isolation, increased anxiety, fluctuation in mood, excessive usage of social media, fear of criticisms must be monitored.”
Sneha John, Clinical Psychologist, Camali Clinic Child & Adult Mental Health, adds: “Child actors often are overprotected, which can lead to difficulties in learning how to attend to everyday tasks—skills that most of us acquire during our growing up years. They can feel awkward when socialising with their normal peers. These children are at high risk of becoming emotionally unstable. Children at different ages display behavioral changes that might indicate that they are at risk. Those between the ages of 2 and 8 might exhibit signs of stress such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, depression, crying, anxiety, clinging, and temper tantrums. Indications that teens are troubled include poor grades, change of friends, isolation, distancing from family and keeping secrets.”
“Any change in the child’s behaviour requires help from mental health professionals to help them handle social pressure and bring balance in life to avoid stress,” warns Banu Khan.
The Ayasses say there were always aware of the landmine, which is why they’ve been watchful parents. “Getting into this, these issues were always in our minds, which is why tried to shield them from these things. Fame hasn’t gone to their heads….knowing that this can affect your kinds, you need to take preventive measures from the get-go.” Let the child lead … the parents must follow.
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