I can hear a collective adult groan as the day of reckoning approaches. Although it wasn’t convenient having children underfoot for almost three months of the summer, yet it wasn’t as bad as dealing with the reality of school itself.
The first challenge is returning to a pre-holiday routine, as sleep and waking hours have been turned around during the long hiatus. Weaning them away from the TV and computer games is another daunting task. Getting them back to scratch takes more patience than the average parent possesses. Small bribes might have to be offered in the guise of motivation.
By the time you manage to organise your children and feel you can breathe a sigh of relief, the communication from teachers begins. The timetable of events and activities are outlined. A mere glance through this and you know you’re in for a hard time.
There’s no rest for the wicked, they say. If that is true, the parents must have been really, really bad. The dreaded letter ‘P’ (for project) strikes fear in the hearts of even the mightiest.
Blissfully unaware of the nightmare ahead of the grown-ups, the kids are raring to go to the stationery shop to buy all those magic markers and glue they can have so much fun with.
But by the time they reach home, the chart paper is rolled out and the assignment explained to them, they have lost all interest. They hadn’t realised that this actually entailed work. Abandoning ship, they set sail to other pastimes. The adults stranded on shore sigh and shrug their shoulders and gamely get on with the job of preparing a project that will impress the teacher and secure their child an ‘A plus’.
Sometimes their conscience might prick them as they realise there is no contribution from the pupil. But they get on with the task, however distasteful it may be. After all, it’s a future that’s involved.
Sometimes, when frustration gets the better of them, they will read their child the riot act, reminding them in bitter tones that it is supposed to be their project. But the kids know an empty threat for what it is. Experience has taught them that saving face is very important for these adults while they themselves couldn’t care less. So, they walk away nonchalantly while their parents get back to wielding scissors and tape. The tight grip on the handle is the only indication of the self-control being exerted to overcome the instinct to walk away from it all.
There are seasons of exam fever when the only flushed faces are those of the adults who have used every trick in their book to coax and cajole their wards to prepare for the ordeal. When they finally manage to get the young ones to stop bouncing off the walls and seat themselves at their desk, many unpleasant discoveries are made by both generations. As the pages are turned, Gen Y wonders why nothing looks familiar while mum or dad are as perplexed and think, “When did subjects change so much?”
That’s when the blame game starts. The child accuses his teachers of being unreasonable while the parents say this is what happens when you don’t pay attention in class.
Yet, another unforgettable experience is Open House when parents get to meet those responsible for what they see as uninformed individuals despite so many years of schooling. Teachers are known to put a positive spin on everything so they may tell you that your son is very strong-willed. If you are a discerning adult, instead of jumping for joy as your child’s sterling qualities have been recognised, you should be asking yourself: “Does that mean he argues with the teacher as much as he does at home?”
As the interminably long term draws to a close, the holidays are looked forward to with a quiet sense of desperation.
