My wife is upset, she has taken all precautions and never steps outside the house, except for a power walk, and everyone she knows is travelling in planes and cars.
“Are we doing something wrong?” she turned to me and asked, when she saw the TV news showing millions of Americans travelling across the country in crowded planes, despite warnings from scientists and politicians not to risk their lives and the lives of others.
“That’s human psychology,” I said wisely. “People are fed-up with what the virus has done to them, and they now crave the love and hugs from their family. They believe they have taken all precautions and also do not see anyone slumping in the waiting lines, hacking and coughing.”
“That’s not what I meant,” my wife said. “Should we too go on a short holiday to the Maldives or Pooh in Himachal Pradesh. It has interesting hiking trails.”
A couple we know went to on a plane trip and paid extra to keep the middle seat free. They were happy — they managed to keep away from a fellow human being and when they landed in Bengaluru, they were herded into a jam-packed coach to the airport building. “There was no social distancing,” said the couple sadly.
There was another alarming news item I read recently. An Asian airline is not allowing snacks on board, and also no magazines. Ever since budget airlines started, I always carried snacks with me on board in my backpack.
As soon as the plane would take off I brought it down from the overhead compartment and start munching on junk and reading boring travel stories. That simple pleasure is no longer accorded now.
Meanwhile, a hygiene expert gives tips on how to travel safely on a train: Avoid touching ticket machines, elevator buttons, benches and handrails. Do not remove your mask to eat and drink during the commute, he warns.
Tightrope by a trapeze artist
I tried walking on to a moving escalator without touching the railing, and I did a few seconds of what looked like a walk on a tightrope by a trapeze artist, with arms flailing in the air and looking desperately for help at the security guard who was watching me from the bottom of the staircase.
Malls in India now have a security guard dressed in a uniform and a cap and the job of these men and women is to just watch people like me on the escalator.
The other day I stopped my car at the security check at the mall entrance and clicked open the hatch in the back, but he wasn’t interested.
Before coronavirus, the guard would look inside the luggage compartment, lift the mat and run a hand-held metal detector. But now he was more alert to the danger that is me. “Show your hand,” he said, and took my temperature.
My wife is now thinking of buying a temperature gun and surreptitiously take people’s temperature when they are near her. “You will be violating their privacy by knowing their medical condition,” I said.
Finally, she is preparing to go back to a physical class and has got a nice picnic basket from the online retailer.
In it there is a huge disinfectant spray, hand wipes, tons of tissue paper and steel bottle to carry milk for her tea, and a tiffin carrier that has an element at the bottom to keep the home-cooked food warm. She is not going to eat anything from ‘outside’.
And before the driver goes home, after being ticked off for wearing the mask on his chin, he has to wipe down everything he has touched, leaving the steering wheel all sticky when I take the car out.
Mahmood Saberi is a storyteller and blogger based in Bengaluru, India. Twitter: @mahmood_saberi
