Becoming a dad is the best day of most men’s life, but the arrival of a baby brings with it all sorts of new stresses that can affect mental health. Just as women can suffer from postnatal depression, studies have shown that around 7 per cent of men experience feelings of anxiety after the birth of a child.
It’s not only new dads though. One in six people, both men and women, will experience a mental health problem at some stage in their life, and research by
UK-based mental health charity Mind has found that 37 per cent of men who are feeling worried or low don’t talk about it or seek help.
While this could be because men often don’t recognise their symptoms as depression, it could also be due to the fact that men simply don’t talk about their mental well-being the way women do, says Dr Raymond H Hamden, clinical and forensic psychologist at Human Relations Institute and Clinics, Jumeirah Lakes Towers, Dubai.
Newspapers and magazines are full of coverage highlighting female psychological well-being, but these issues are rarely discussed in relation to men. Mental illness, it seems, is just not an acceptably macho subject.
This is the focus of this year’s Men’s Health Week, which has been running from June 10 and will continue until Father’s Day on June 16. Around the world programmes meant to raise awareness about men’s health problems have been ongoing with the intention of encouraging men and boys to go for regular medical check-ups and seek early treatment for disease and illness, including mental health.
Raising awareness is important because not talking about or seeking help for health issues isn’t doing guys any favours, says Dr John Chisholm, chairman of the Men’s Health Forum, which organises Men’s Health Week in the UK. In fact, he says it usually makes their problems far worse. “I think men are generally less prompt and less willing to seek help about their mental health than women,” says Dr Chisholm. “It’s not that mental health issues are more common in men, it’s what men do about them that’s the problem.”
Just 23 per cent of men would see their doctor if they felt low for more than two weeks, compared to 33 per cent of women, according to Mind research.
“Culturally men are reluctant to admit and talk about personal problems because they see it as embarrassing and a sign of weakness and vulnerability,” says Dr Chisholm. “There’s a reluctance to make a fuss or appear silly, and a feeling that things will get better even if they take no action.”
Under pressure
Many new fathers are under stress dealing with the responsibilities of being a dad, but according to Dr Chisholm, they don’t talk about it as much as new mothers.
“Parenthood is a huge change in your life,” he says. “You need to be less self-absorbed and that comes as quite a shock to many parents, particularly men.”
Fathers are also under pressure to provide for the child and protect their family. “Having a child is a beautiful experience, but also stressful,” says Dr Hamden. “Even positive stress affects dynamics between husband and wife. The father also has to make changes to his day-to-day routine and lifestyle to accommodate the newborn.”
Although in Dr Hamden’s experience in Dubai, more men are coming forward and reporting feeling depressed than ever before, he says there is still a stigma attached to conditions associated with emotions. “Men feel they’re designed to fix and correct things,” he says. “Socialisation plays an important role in the way men deal with depression too. Men have always been taught that they’re supposed to provide and protect, and as a result having an ailment can be perceived as a sign of weakness. On the other hand, women are taught that it is OK to talk about their joys and concerns.”
Parental preparation
According to Dr Chisholm, more needs to be done to prepare men for parenthood and the answer may lie in families. He says children are good at warning their parents about the dangers of smoking and encouraging them to stop, and suggests, “If we could broaden that to other risks like mental health problems, kids could be really helpful. People within families are potentially at an advantage because sympathetic people around them can encourage them to get help.”
Dr Chisholm says that because the majority of childcare is still done by women, health care professionals are more likely to pick up on a mother’s depression than the father’s. “There’s a general problem with men accessing health care,” he says. “They often present themselves later than women, which often leads to poorer outcomes.”
The more awareness there is that men can suffer from mental health problems, the more likely they will be to seek help. “The situation isn’t going to change overnight,” says Dr Chisholm. “We want people to realise that talking and going to see their doctor is a positive step. And if they see their doctor they won’t just be offered drugs, as there are services such as cognitive behavioural therapy which people may not be aware of.”
Bridget O’Connell of Mind says that it’s when poor mental health interferes with day-to-day life that a medical diagnosis should be sought.
O’Connell stresses that it’s important to distinguish temporarily feeling sad or miserable with true depression or anxiety. “Everyone occasionally feels low, but if the feelings are interfering with daily living and don’t go away after a couple of weeks, or if they come back over and over again for a few days at a time, it could be a sign you have depression,” she explains.
Symptoms of depression include feeling low, restless, agitated, helpless, irritable, unable to relate to other people and gaining no pleasure from things usually enjoyed. If symptoms persist, O’Connell advises seeking help as soon as possible. “Early intervention is crucial in preventing deterioration and a mental health crisis.”
She suggests that health care services should be more male-friendly, for example by offering treatments like exercise or computer therapy that might appeal more to men, in gender-neutral settings with support advertised in places men are likely to visit such as sports venues.
“Men have told us they feel health services are more geared towards women, which can put them off seeking help,” O’Connell says. “But suffering in silence only makes things worse.”
