So many of us move around with open wounds; a friend’s taunt, a parent’s mistreatment, a spouse’s humiliating behaviour or a boss’s’ jab. Letting go is not easy for those who are at the receiving end. Not to mention that many a time, those who are at the source of it, the givers, also move around with open wounds, maybe in secret or not: ‘I shouldn’t have said or behaved like that,’ ‘I regret ..’ or ‘If I could change it…’ etc. All that a receiver or a giver is looking for is: closure.
Closure heals wounds. Sometimes, just a simple act of a heartfelt apology, a ‘sorry’, is enough. At other times, an act of deliberate effort is warranted.
All this can be done and can be packed in one word: intention. One word, which contains multiple threads and versions; for example, ‘am I ready to forgive those who hurt me?’ ‘Why should I?’. Or ‘how can I seek forgiveness, I am embarrassed’,’ or, ‘it’s too late now’, or, ‘does it really matter?’ and so on.
Words Have Energy
If an individual’s intention is to hurt someone by a speech or an act, then one is opening wounds in self and others. If the intent is not to hurt, then forgiveness is sought and received. This allows the chapter to be closed. Both parties move on.
But in a situation that is otherwise, the remnants of sore words- heard or said- lingers on, or that of physical abuse received or given. Unless love and forgiveness arise and boundaries are dismantled, the hurt continues. Painful memories linger if one chooses not to release and not to close. And hence, one continues to live with the wounds of pain and suffering.
Do you want to know how long these memories can last? Well, more than this lifetime, to the next and the next with the cycle going on, till closure happens and balance attained. The genetic make-up with which a person is born carries threads of this karmic phenomenon. It is important to finish this business of carry-over- for one’s own sake.
In the account-book of life, there are deficits that get carried over — with old experiences as much as the new ones created. And this can affect the present. What can be done?
The key is to balance — by infusing credit. This lies in the bag of intention. Intention to forgive, intention to love, intention to keep compassion in thoughts, words and actions, intention to live every day in understanding, discernment and harmony, intention to live free.
You don’t want to take this deficit when you cross over this earthly realm. Of course, there is no choice when it comes to material possessions which one can’t carry. But what about taking the subtle energies; the thoughts, memories and experiences? Is it wise to choose to go with heavy energies; that of guilt, shame, greed, hurt, anger and so on.? or is it wise to choose that the spirit travels with light energies of compassion and kindness?
In exiting out of this earthly realm, the subtle energies travel with the individual, there is no choice in that. But the empowered choice lies in whether one wants to travel heavy (that is, with karmic debts) or light (with release of heavy energies).
This self-permission allows shaping of one’s own future which is totally in one’s own hands. Now and here and at this time.
If self-work on forgiveness gets overwhelming, seek professional help.
On being at the receiving end of hurt.
— build trust in self, focus on your own abilities and capabilities, your inner strength
— choose to forgive, no matter how hard it seems. This is for your own movement and freedom.
— what is the worst thing that can happen if you choose to forgive?
In causing hurt unknowingly or otherwise.
— reflect on what makes you think and subsequently act, in an unkind manner?
— which open wounds needs healing?
— Know that it is possible to be nice. Being nice to others reflects that you are nice to self.