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There are no quick fixes. Change/transformation/healing takes time. It is a process and if you allow yourself this time, to work with the process, you will be comfortable with the pace of progress. Too much too soon may be difficult to handle. Integration takes time.

If you are hurrying up, you better be prepared with the pace and don’t complain; ‘things are moving too fast’, ‘too much on my plate’, ‘feeling fatigued and so on.’

When people seek guidance in change/ transformation/ healing, most are raring to go.

That is a good thing, but this is a bubble and an extended one at that. Understand, the mind can comprehend only so much and the body can cooperate only so much. Respect the role of both without pushing them to the edge. You see, overenthusiasm is also an aspect that needs to be balanced.

Digest and process

Knowledge, guidance that you receive needs to be chewed upon (reflected). What resonates with your heart is to be embodied and what is to be embodied is to be lived. That is integration.

If there is dis-integration, meaning, you believe some ideal/ principle, positive thought pattern, but do not live it’s essence and it is not reflected in your attitude, actions, behaviour, then the body-mind will feel dis-harmonised. This is a non- integrated state.

You will see that at different times and at different stages of your growth you will resonate differently with the same principle. If you have been living it, the resonance will be at profound levels. Consider that as growth, movement.

If you believe in this positive thought, for example, ‘everyone and all things should be respected’, or ‘forgiveness should be practised’, then you ought to live this thought in day-to-day life and integrate it with required actions. You will integrate it at so many different levels for, there are so many aspects to this one thought. This takes time. You can’t integrate all at once as events unfold/ present themselves daily. You will un-layer it one at a time, live one aspect at a time, integrate and be ready for another.

Quick fixes, if don’t change the internal state of ‘be-ing’, falls apart as quickly.

Are you ready?

Why can’t transformation be an instant manifestation? It is the readiness aspect. Your readiness to imbibe changes. A seed unless ready will not germinate, a fruit unless ready will not drop off a tree. It is the process of transition. The more ready you are, the faster the process will be.

If you are not ready, don’t blame it on ego. Know that your consciousness is greater than your ego and therefore, you have the ability to move things, change things. And therefore, whatever is attached to the ego can be transmuted.

Hurt (for example, ‘I am right, s/he is wrong’), pain (‘I wish my child listened to me’), arrogance (‘people are stupid’), resentment (‘I hate you for doing this to me’), regret (‘I should have or could have done this) etc. The more ready you are to shake off these non-serving constructs attached to the ego, the faster you move to transformation/ healing. Allow ego to serve you.

These constructs continue to exist because you have permitted them to attach to your ego. Ask: Am I ready to release this regret, resentment, these structures? Am I ready to believe that people are not stupid but they are valuable to my growth (as much as I am to them?). Am I ready to believe that I am worthy? Am I ready to believe that regret is counterproductive?

If the blame is on the circumstances, ask which thought/belief (attached to ego) is manifesting those circumstances? Know that your consciousness is greater than circumstances. Know that you possess the ability to move things from where you are. In the journey, make determination and discipline your friends.

Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is an emotional healer and a forgiveness teacher. All the ideas expressed herein are her own, and not professional advice or medical prescription. Her website is: Email: