If you meet people on a daily basis, it’s likely you’ll come across someone you simply don’t click with, or worse, someone who makes your blood boil.
Click start to play today’s Spell It, where we learn how to remain ‘civil’ with people we don’t get along with.
Whether you're faced with a guest at your party, your colleague, or an old acquaintance who makes you want to scream, there are some central principles you can use to get through interactions in a healthy way. Here are a few worth embracing for the next time you feel triggered, based on a December 2017 report in the psychology news website Psychology Today:
1. Plan ahead
According to the 2015 book Stress and Health: Biological and Psychological Interactions, by William Lovallo, research has long shown that control and predictability can reduce our stress response. If you know you’re going to have to interact with someone you dislike, come up with a strategy that outlines what your interaction is going to be like. For instance, think of brief subject-changers or conversation-enders that you can use to get out of the situation, and give yourself a time limit for the interaction.
2. Be mindful of your body’s response
The people who are most successful in keeping calm in emotionally difficult situations, often are the ones who are mindful of their body’s response. You know that your anger is rising, for instance, through a growing tension in your muscles or a throbbing in your jaw. Or you might feel anxiety, via a flip-flopping stomach, a neck ache or faster breathing. If you’re able to identify your body’s response, you can lessen the physical symptoms of anger and anxiety through science-backed methods. Diaphragmatic breathing, neck stretches, and rubbing your temples all help to reduce your anger and anxiety, before it gets to the point of no return.
3. Don’t take it personally
Sometimes, you can harbour deep dislike for someone because of the way they make you feel about yourself. For instance, they may make you feel like you’re not good enough, which then causes you to feel hurt, resentful and angry. But what if you could separate someone’s judgment of you from your own? A June 2013 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology gave credence to the new-age idea that ‘haters gonna hate’ – no matter what you do about it. Since there is just no pleasing these people, give yourself the freedom of not personalising their criticism or comments.
4. Remember you are loved
According to a November 2014 study by the UK-based University of Exeter, just visualising being cared for and loved can help neutralise and lessen our sensitivity to threat. So, the next time someone raises your guard, visualise yourself in the company of a loved one – it can relax you enough to not escalate a conflict, or make a tense situation go from bad to worse.
5. Enlist a friend
If you’re in a stressful situation, having a trusted comrade close by can make it easier for you to manage an anxiety-provoking situation. Even if your companion is not someone with whom you are emotionally close, just having another person around as a distraction, or to help you logistically when you need to leave the conversation, can be incredibly helpful.
What do you think of these strategies? Play today’s Spell It and tell us at games@gulfnews.com.
