From the time children start speaking, they are taught to use 'magic' words - Please, Thank You, Excuse Me, Sorry and few others.
These words, children are told, make them well-mannered and respected humans.
Unfortunately, many of us on growing up tend to forget these easily. Is it because there are no more reminders from teachers and parents?
Or in the world of SMSs and e-mails, where we tend to use short sentences, we forget them?
The reasons are many. The point is these are forgotten to a great extent, and we need to remind ourselves that these words do play an important role in our daily communication. See the difference for yourselves.
In a corporate environment where work needs to get executed at multiple levels, these words really play magic.
Consider a boss asking a subordinate "Do this". The same put gently by saying "Please do this" makes a tremendous difference. Once the work is done, saying "Thank You" will take a second, but the respect gained from the subordinate will last for a long time.
Admitting a mistake by saying "sorry", helps to build trust. By apologising, you do not lose respect. In fact, there is a saying that only a courageous person can admit to one's mistake.
Respect needs to be earned rather than demanded. Onus lies on the seniors, to earn the respect of their juniors. One of the ingredients is use of the magic words. There was a very popular Indian movie. The hero is playing agony aunt on the radio. A confused girl calls saying that she is to meet a prospective bridegroom in a restaurant.
She asks how she would know if he is the right person in her life.
Advice
The hero advises her to watch how he calls for the waiter. If he says 'excuse me' then he may be the right person since he has basic respect for humans.
If he whistles, then she should walk out. The prospective groom whistles, the girl walks out immediately, the audience laughs merrily. The message was clear, but how many got it, and more importantly how many implemented it in their daily lives?
A large number of training programmes are conducted across the world on "Soft Skills". This industry is probably worth billions.
These programmes attempt to teach character traits: be gentle, respect all individuals, use magic words to get work done, and so on.
And all this because we forgot what we were taught in our childhood!
The fact is not discounted that there is tremendous pressure to perform, meet deadlines, delight customers, please shareholders, and achieve results.
But try to be the person on the receiving end and the world will look different.
The things learnt in childhood are usually not forgotten. It is like swimming and cycling. You may have not done it for a long time, but once in water you will start swimming or once on a bicycle, you will gain balance. It only needs a bit of practice.
Practice using the gentle magic words and they will become part of your daily communication easily. If sending an sms or e-mail, a thank you or sorry note will also work!
Sanjiv Anand is Managing Director and Manish Kotwala is Director, of Cedar Management Consulting International LLC.
