Get back to work, George

Over the last few days it's been hard to know what's been more amusing, George Galloway's performance on Big Brother, or the righteous anger of his critics. How, they bluster in all seriousness, dare an MP cut himself off from real life, entering an introverted, enclosed hothouse dominated by publicity-crazed, self-obsessed wanna-bes who spend part of their time shouting at each other?

The parallels between the proceedings in the Big Brother house and those in that rather older confection of pretentious masonry by the banks of the Thames have, of course, long been fodder for every sixth-form cultural commentator. But just because it's a cliché doesn't mean it's wrong.

I have no doubt at all that for anyone under 30, mention of "the House" triggers thoughts of Channel 4 and Davina McCall rather than the Commons and Mr Speaker. And very few newspaper articles on BB can be considered complete without a mention of the deeply dodgy "statistic" that more people voted in the final of Big Brother than in the last Euro-elections. (It's dodgy because the BB tally almost certainly includes very large numbers of voters frantically pressing their redial buttons.)

But this time, brilliantly, in the person of Galloway, the BB producers have joined up the two worlds. And the Respect MP's presence on the show is a challenge to both worlds, too.

So far, Galloway's hopes of using Big Brother to rant along familiar lines about the blood-soaked sands of Mother Iraq, the grotesque criminality of the hyena Blair, etc, etc, have been largely frustrated by the capitalist jackals of Channel 4. They appear to be censoring most of his political stuff, at least from the highlights show. But the series is still young. And isn't it a weird world where the BB housemates talking about politics is considered dangerous and taboo, but you can talk about, say, drugs all you like?

It is not totally impossible that the Big Brother house is not just a place of trashy entertainment, but a new agora for the age, a forum where the national conversation happens, at least among the young. Such places should not be politics-free zones.

My old boss, Boris Johnson, used to get stick for going on Have I Got News For You. Not the act of a serious politician, his critics would sniff. But that programme is how some of the British people form their political views.

Let us, however, deal with the valid criticisms that have been made of Galloway's three-week winter fun break. He will not be around to help constituents with their problems, it is true. But an MP is not the person who replaces the missing roof tile or puts his hand down the blocked drain. His job is to write the letters to the council that summon the relevant workmen. Galloway has a perfectly competent staff who can do that, just as any MP's staff do when their boss is away.

Galloway will be absent from the Commons for a "vital debate" on Crossrail, the controversial railway tunnel under central London whose main diggings will be in his constituency, destroying badly-needed homes and open space.

Crossrail's impact on the East End is, indeed, very important. But the idea that any Commons debate on it could be "vital" is surely untrue. Galloway probably should be there, but whatever he says will make no difference at all. Crossrail, like the Iraq war indeed, is supported by both main parties at Westminster and still never gets built. The Commons rituals are of little relevance to either issue.

Galloway's voting record in Parliament, even when he is not appearing on Big Brother, has indeed been lamentable. He is in the bottom 15 MPs for attendance, a rather unhappy contrast with the fact that he is in the top fifth of MPs for parliamentary expenses.

Preordained votes

But, again, no MP should be judged by the time he or she spends in the Commons chamber, very largely a temple of hot air, or its division lobbies, where the results of most votes are completely preordained. He can, for the most part, be more effective elsewhere ... and, yes, arguably, even in front of an audience of Big Brother millions.

Galloway has, I think, slipped up badly once the day when he was in Cork, giving a paid-for speech, as the Government came within a single vote of defeat on its wretched proposal for an offence of "glorifying terrorism".

This new "crime" could have profound implications for freedom of speech, not least among Galloway's own Muslim constituents. His vote would not have killed it then ... in a tie at second reading, the Speaker gives a casting vote to the Government but it might have killed it later. There will be many other close votes in this rebellious Parliament; for Galloway to miss them really would be an act of betrayal.

And there is a more profound criticism of Gorgeous George. Even if it doesn't always make any difference in practice, being in the Commons is what you were elected to do. Thousands of people, not all with your sophisticated understanding of politics, have put their faith in you, against fierce competition, and they expect to see you at your place of work.

Parliament is not a joke. If you don't take it seriously, it might look to your constituents like you're not taking them seriously. And they have the power to enforce a rather more humiliating ejection than your inevitable departure from the Big Brother house.

- Galloway's voting record in Parliament, even when he is not appearing on Big Brother, has indeed been lamentable. He is in the bottom 15 MPs for attendance.