7 signs your friend is quiet-quitting on you—and how to fix it

They're there, one day.

And the next day, they're not. It hurts when your friend vanishes. It's confusing. You start wondering what you did wrong, ruminating every past action of yours, only to be stonewalled.

Sometimes, the ghosting doesn't happen all at once. They keep returning, only to vanish again. We miss the signs, because we don't want to believe they've left us.

But, here's how to recognise the signs and take action:

They vanish for long stretches

If a friend disappears for days or weeks without explanation, it’s a red flag. Occasional busy days happen, but repeated disappearances indicate a pattern.

How to fix it: Note the pattern and lower expectations. Protect your energy by not waiting around for constant communication.

Communication gaps grow after life changes

You may feel close, sharing hobbies or experiences, but once circumstances change—like a move or a new job—messages dwindle and gaps appear.

How to fix it: Reach out thoughtfully, but don’t demand answers. If they respond, ask directly and calmly about the communication gap.

They apologise, but the pattern repeats

If your friend repeatedly says they’re 'going through something' but never explains, it can be emotionally draining.

How to fix it: Set boundaries. You can lower your expectations and step back until you feel ready to re-engage.

You feel anxious or abandoned

Being ghosted activates similar emotional pathways as being hurt or ignored, it can trigger anxiety, overthinking, or even feelings of inadequacy.

How to fix it: Remind yourself it’s not your fault. Recognise that ghosting reflects their coping style, not your worth.

Emotional highs and lows become a cycle

You may feel excitement when they return, followed by hurt when they disappear again, creating an exhausting emotional loop.

How to fix it: Limit emotional investment. Focus on friendships that are reciprocal and consistent. Avoid craving the 'high' of their return.

They’re overwhelmed, not malicious

Sometimes friends ghost because they are dealing with stress, mental health challenges, or personal struggles. They may not have the words to explain.

How to fix it: Practise compassion, but protect your boundaries. Let them know you’re available to talk when they’re ready, without overextending yourself.

You’re unsure if you should stay or go

Repeated ghosting can signal a toxic dynamic or a mismatch in friendship expectations.

How to fix it: Decide whether the friendship adds value or drains you. Unfollow, mute, or step back if needed. Communicate honestly about your boundaries while maintaining kindness and transparency.