'Whatever' and 4 other phrases that make you sound cold and aloof: What to say instead

Yeah, yeah whatever. Okay, I’m off, let’s talk later.

Dubai-based Niyati Ranjan never expected that a casual remark, made in haste, would leave such a negative first impression on a colleague. “I was in a rush, and she was sharing a plan for the week. I think I just wanted to say, ‘All good, I have to go.’ But she seemed upset by what I said, and for the longest time, I didn’t understand why she wasn’t keen on talking to me. It wasn’t until later that she explained how my words could’ve come across as aloof or unfriendly,” Ranjan reflects.

Confused, she adds, “I didn’t mean it that way. I don’t think I’ve ever intended to be unfriendly to anyone. But that conversation stuck with me, and since then, I’ve been more mindful of the words I use.”

The reality is, words—along with the tone in which they’re spoken—leave a lasting impact. You might think saying quickly in a rush, ‘Yeah, yeah I know’ is fine, and it often usually might be, but sometimes it can appear dismissive and well, just fobbing someone off. There are many such seemingly casual phrases and words that we use in our daily lexicon, which can actually create a rift between people.

Here are a few seemingly innocent phrases that can leave a cold impression:

‘Whatever’

You hear the word and the first impression is that the person is  in a rush. They’ve got things to do; they don’t have time for what you have to say.

As Lydia Matt, a Dubai-based psychologist, explains, "It’s one of those words that can easily slip out when we’re rushed, frustrated, or just trying to wrap up a conversation quickly." While it might seem casual, “whatever” carries the potential for misinterpretation. Psychologically, it signals disengagement. It can come off as dismissive, as though you're brushing off the speaker’s thoughts or emotions, especially if they’ve invested time and energy into the conversation.”

It’s often used as a defense mechanism to avoid deeper emotions or confrontations. When we don’t feel like dealing with something, ‘whatever’ is an easy way out. However, the underlying emotion—frustration, annoyance, or indifference—shows through, even if the words themselves seem benign.

What to say instead: If you need to end the conversation quickly, consider using a more considerate phrase like, "I have to go, but let's catch up later," or "I’ll think about it more when I have some time." These responses still convey the need to wrap things up but without the emotional detachment that "whatever" often carries. You don’t lose much time by saying a few extra words.

What you could say instead:

·         I’ll come back to this later

·         Let’s revisit this when we have more time

·         I appreciate your input, but I need to think about it more.

·         I understand, let’s move on for now.

‘Yeah, yeah I know’

When someone is explaining something to you, and you interrupt with ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ it might just seem as if you're being impatient. Even if you do know what they’re saying, the tone and delivery matter. A flat, dismissive response can shut down communication before it even starts.

What you can try instead:

·         Got it, but can you clarify just a bit more?

·         I’m with you, I understand. What else?

·         Thanks for sharing, I just wanted to confirm one thing.

‘Not my problem’

Dealing with colleagues who assign extra work to you because they’re overburdened? It’s frustrating. Instead of saying "not my problem," which can sound like a lack of empathy, try acknowledging their predicament and offering a more considerate response.

Here’s what you can say:

· I’m not the best person to help with this, but have you tried [another option]?

· I’m unable to take this on right now, but I understand it’s important. Can I point you in the right direction?

· I can’t take responsibility for this, but let’s figure out who can.

‘You’re wrong’

Sometimes, the urge to say ‘You’re wrong’ can be overwhelming, especially when someone's clearly mistaken. But as Matt points out, there are ways to express disagreement that maintain a productive conversation. By choosing more thoughtful alternatives, you're more likely to keep the dialogue open and prevent a defensive reaction.

What you can say instead:

·  I see it differently

· I see where you’re coming from…

·I don’t think that’s the case

·I’m not sure that’s accurate