Inside BTS’s most painful years: Burnout, tears, disbanding talks — and ARMY’s healing love

2018 was one of the best years for BTS and ARMY, and somehow one of the worst for BTS. ARMY didn’t quite know the emotional toll that the band’s growing success had taken on them, but the truth is, the boys were burnt out. The fame had been astronomical, but their price had been their adulthood and growing up years, especially for Jungkook.

Most ARMY didn’t realise the extent of it, until December, when BTS received the Artist of the Year award at the BBMAs for the third consecutive year. It was then that the cracks came to light.

An emotional J-Hope said, “I think we would have cried, whether we won or not. This year. We went through so much, because we received so much love from all of you. I wanted to repay you, no matter what really, thank you so much. I want to say in this moment, when we’re all here together, to the members, thank you.”

A tearful Jin followed, “This year, I’m reminded of the beginning. At the beginning of this year, we had a really hard time emotionally. So, we discussed between us and debated whether we had to break up or not, but we really got our acts together and ended up getting good results. I think it’s a real relief. I am thankful to the members for getting our acts together, and I’m thankful for the ARMY for always looking out for us.”

The word “breakup” hit like a thunderclap. Disband. Could this really have been a possibility, even as BTS had just reached #7 on the Billboard 200, their highest ranking yet? According to their tell-all memoir Beyond the Story: 10-Year Record of BTS, while BTS were soaring "up to the sky," they were also "plunging to the bottom of the sea." As Suga revealed, “We all wanted to say, ‘let’s quit’, but none of us could bring ourselves to say it.”

So what had led to this?

Between February and September 2017, BTS performed 32 concerts across 10 countries during The Wings Tour. Just weeks after releasing Love Yourself: Her, they launched into another round of concerts in Japan, Taiwan, and Macau. There was no rest. No real break. They were constantly in motion—juggling interviews, music award shows, and talk show appearances.

Jin recalls in the book, “We really had no days off. So at the time, I wondered whether it was right for a person to live a life as exhausted as this.”

For RM, who often served as the group’s translator in international appearances, the pressure was particularly brutal. J-Hope acknowledged his effort, saying, “If it wasn’t for him, we would have been in serious trouble. It would have been difficult for us to get so popular in the US in my view. RM’s role is huge.”

Yet RM himself admitted that he was on the verge of a breakdown. At one point, he was told they would be interviewed by 11 different broadcasters—each with its own accent and style—and it pushed him close to the edge. On top of that, there were albums to produce, global tours to plan, and constant performances to prepare for. It was a relentless cycle. As Suga described, the emotional strain of global fame was like “trying to solve a problem that had no answer.”

The group was fraying at the seams.
J-Hope said in the book, “It was hell. During the activities with BTS, this was the first time that there had been such a serious atmosphere that we weren’t sure if we would keep going. So, when we practised, we got so exhausted. There was a mountain of things that we needed to do right away and we couldn’t concentrate during practise. This wasn’t the kind of people we were at all…”

Talks began about not making a new album. Jin was even contemplating leaving the industry altogether. The renewal of their contract was hanging in the balance.

Still, they chose to keep going. Whether it was ARMY’s unwavering love, the joy of performing, or just the strength they drew from one another—they made it through.

2018 was a year of growing pains and private battles. And when they finally emerged from the storm, they renewed their contract for another seven years.

That’s when it hit them: the journey was far from over. If anything, it was only about to get even bigger—and far more demanding. Yet, they knew why they had stayed: In 2019, the Wembley concert saw ARMY's singing along to Young Forever. Visibly emotional and teary, the boys expressed their gratitude and love for the fanbase that keeps growing.