Bollywood nightmares

Hindi cinema has its share of awful films and bad performances but we lack the Razzie awards for horrible flicks. Abdulla Mahmood fills the gap with the 2008 Bazzie Awards.

Worst film: Drona
Super hero flicks are simple, straightforward formula films but Drona proved that even such films can turn into complete disasters. The film had a lousy story, a wimpy hero, a dumb heroine-cum-sidekick, an over-the-top villain, a terrible soundtrack and zilch excitement. This super-hero flick was a complete super-zero!

The other contenders were...

Bombay To Bangkok
This is the worst film of avant-garde filmmaker Nagesh Kukunoor's career. His attempt at making a Bollywood masala flick didn't turn out well. It's difficult to comprehend why he made a film about the romantic escapades of a Thai massage girl and an Indian thief. We hope this will remain his first and only big-screen nightmare.

Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic
Director Kunal Kohli couldn't decide whether his story was for the kids or for twisted adults. On one hand, there's a simple story featuring Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukherjee, and on the other there's Amisha Patel's exposure act. Either way, this predictable film had neither 'little love' nor 'little magic', making it a mind-numbing experience.

Singh Is Kinng
It's due to a brilliant marketing strategy that this mediocre film did well at the box office. By the time people realised it was a sub-standard film, the marketing had already roped in millions. It's nothing short of an insult to the term 'mindless entertainment,' this film makes you squirm with disgust at its poor humour.

Love Story 2050
This is a classic example of why Bollywood struggles to conquer the genre of science fiction. Big-budget films need to be backed with a concrete vision, state-of-the-art technology and a star cast, not a 'Hrithik Roshan clone', red wigs and cheesy special effects . Maybe in 2050, it will be a classic ham film!

Worst Actor: Abhishek Bachchan (Drona)
What was an overweight Abhishek doing in a tight super-hero costume? He might have thought he could sleepwalk through this role but unfortunately we were given the option of either sleeping through his role or running out of the cinema hall. Drona proves that Bachchan's the worst super-hero ever!

The other contenders were...

Saif Ali Khan (Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic)
Saif looked lost in this humdrum character. We think he could have been demotivated by Rani's boring dress that remained a constant throughout the entire film.

Zayed Khan (Mission Istanbul)
This film proves that Zayed cannot take on the role of a serious lead. He messed up his only opportunity to make it to the lead actor league with this horrible performance. He should stick to secondary roles and restrict himself to a few scenes and maybe a dance routine.

Himesh Reshammiya (Karzzz)
There are some who believe that Reshammiya's acting has improved, but moving from a terribly bad actor to a tolerable one isn't sufficient. His ugly wig added to our agony. He might believe that he's a heartthrob, but in reality he's put everyone in the Zzzzz mode!

Salman Khan (Yuvvraaj)
Somebody needs to tell Salman that acting is not about being yourself onscreen. He hardly looked interested in the film or his co-star and real-life ladylove Katrina Kaif. It looked like he was clueless about what was happening around him. This sloppy performance will only make his career spiral downwards.

Worst actress: Urmila Matondkar (Karzzz)
She is no longer in her 20s and should refrain from doing roles of young yuppie girls. She's remained boringly constant since her debut days. In fact, she'd make more money advertising for wrinkle-free creams! The artificial pouts, false accent, tacky costumes and bad performance put her in our top slot.

The other contenders were...

Katrina Kaif (Race)
Kaif looks a million bucks but she doesn't realise there's more to acting than just good looks. She struggles to emote in more scenes than one in Race. We'd ask the glamour doll to invest her time and money in acting classes rather than in 'controversial' parties.

Rani Mukherjee (Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic)
Mukherjee makes for a dull 'angel'. Her make-up and costumes completely ruined her angelic act. It's ironic because she's the one who is in desperate need of an angel to help her career from hitting rock bottom. If nothing works she might as well consider voluntarily retirement!

Priyanka Chopra (Love Story 2050)
Chopra gives a wooden performance that oscillates between a naÏve bimbo and an irritating red-haired glamour doll. We wonder if it was love that prompted the poor Harman Baweja to take the Bollywood plunge with this film.

Minissha Lambha (Kidnap)
If she thought flaunting her anatomy uninhibitedly is sufficient work to become a top actress, then she has to seriously rethink her career strategy. In fact, she looked like an over-grown teenager!

Special Mention

Mimoh's (poor Mithun Chakraborty's son) debut vehicle Jimmy is the worst thing Bollywood churned out this year. But such horrible C-grade flicks don't even deserve a nomination in the Razzie awards. Also, there are a few disasters that didn't make it to the nominations but deserve a worthy mention Saif Ali Khan-Kareena Kapoor's Tashan, Vivek Oberoi-Shriya Saran's Mission Istanbul and Arshad Warsi-Irrfan Khan's Krazzzy 4