‘Again?’ Why repeating yourself is good for your child's brain
The science behind repetition: How it shapes your child's mind
It’s the same heart on the card. The same food request for lunch. The same songs for car rides. And, yes, the same story for bedtime.
Before you throw your hands up in frustration the next time your child repeats the same catchphrase he or she has learnt, here’s something to think about – repetition is their way of mastering life.
“Repetition helps toddlers understand how things work. Whether filling and emptying boxes or requesting the same story repeatedly, this repetition provides a sense of security, allows mastery of new skills and boosts self-confidence,” Dr Nahed Sabry, Johnson's Baby Hospital Education Manager, said.
But to understand just how repetition helps children, it is first important to know exactly how they learn.
The learning process
“The process of children learning is fundamentally rooted in neural development, which begins incredibly early. At just three months, a baby's brain is developing at an astounding rate, transferring 1.8 million connections per second. These initial neural connections form the foundation of both cognitive and emotional learning,” Dr Sabry said.
But even as children grow, repetition continues to play a role in building patterns in their mind, which can create a sense of understanding the world around them, by hardwiring synaptic connections, turning those neural connections into “superhighways for learning”, Kimberly Glaspie a child specialist counsellor at MCM Concious Mental Wellness in Dubai, said.
“When children come across something new – whether it’s a word, a toy, or even figuring out how to use a fork – their brains light up like a Christmas tree. Their neurons start firing, forming connections (called synapses) that help them process what they’re experiencing. At a young age, their brains are growing at an incredible pace, creating a web of connections that’s as messy and magical as you’d expect. But here’s the thing: Not all those connections stick around. The brain has this incredible ability to prune itself – kind of like weeding a garden. It keeps the connections that are being used over and over and lets go of the rest. This is where repetition comes in. Each time a child repeats an activity, it’s like watering those pathways, helping them grow stronger and more permanent. Their brains become more efficient, and over time, they don’t have to think about these activities, they just know how to do them,” she said.
1. Language development: Between nine to 10 months, babies start babbling and imitating speech. These repetitive attempts at communication are actually developing language skills. I always encourage parents to talk to their babies repeatedly, pointing at objects and naming them, which helps reinforce neural pathways.
2. Motor skills: Repetitive actions are key to mastering skills. Take an eight-month-old trying to stand by balancing on furniture - they gradually improve their motor skills through consistent practice.
3. Cognitive recognition: Babies find comfort in repetition. Have you noticed how a seven month old can watch the same cartoon episode repeatedly? This suggests that repetition helps them process and understand information.
Repetition helps toddlers understand how things work. Whether filling and emptying boxes or requesting the same story repeatedly, this repetition provides a sense of security, allows mastery of new skills and boosts self-confidence.
How repetition helps emotionally
Another benefit of repetitive tasks and activities is the sense of safety and comfort it lends to children, who may get overwhelmed with too many new experiences.
“Children don’t have much control over their world, so knowing what’s coming next can be a huge relief. Predictable routines, like a consistent bedtime ritual, help reduce their fears and anxieties. For instance, when you read the same book every night, your child knows exactly what to expect. That predictability creates a sense of comfort, like wrapping them up in a warm blanket. It’s a way of saying, ‘This is your safe space, and I’m here for you’,” Glaspie said.
Another cascading effect of repetition is how it helps build children’s confidence.
“Every time a child successfully repeats a task, whether it’s stacking blocks or brushing their teeth, they’re saying, ‘I can do this.’ That little boost adds up over time, making them more willing to tackle new challenges,” she added.
At a young age, their brains are growing at an incredible pace, creating a web of connections that’s as messy and magical as you’d expect. But here’s the thing: Not all those connections stick around.
Too much of a good thing? How to balance repetition and new experiences
While repetition can have its benefits, if you are worried about your child not learning new experiences, Glaspie recommends layering familiar experiences with new ones.
“Add a sprinkle of novelty to what they already know. If they love building towers, try introducing blocks of different shapes or colours. If they always want the same bedtime story, swap out a few words, take turns telling the story, make up a new ending, or add sound effects to keep it fun. You don’t have to toss out the familiar - it’s about layering new things on top of the old,” she said
- Be patient: I know, hearing that same song for the hundredth time can feel like a test of endurance, but remember, they’re building meaningful connections!
- Stick to routines: Children thrive on predictability. Bedtimes, mealtimes, and playtimes should have some structure.
- Celebrate effort, not results: Whether they finally zipped their jacket or nailed that tricky word, let them know you see how hard they tried. It goes a long way.
“Repetition isn’t just a phase or a quirk of childhood; it’s how children learn to understand and feel secure in the world. By leaning into their need for repetition, and balancing it with a dash of the new, you are helping them grow into confident, capable little humans. And isn’t that what it’s all about?” Glaspie said.