As children we were taught to say thank you and please and discovered that these words were always appreciated. However, being courteous to strangers and friends alike is not so common now as we tend to overlook these niceties.
A restaurant in my hometown of Hyderabad is trying to revive the small acts of kindness by offering courtesy discounts. I think it is a brilliant idea. The discounts can be availed of by saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ or ‘have a nice day’. For example, if you say ‘a thali please’, you might get up to Rs15 off on your bill. If you greet the staff on entering the venue, that courtesy is duly noted and the price of your meal is further discounted.
The managing partners of this restaurant say this encourages customers to be polite and is putting a smile on faces. Of course, this could lead to patrons going berserk with their pleases and thank yous simply to get a free meal!
In India, many people either ignore service staff or talk down to them. The concept of politeness seems to be reserved for friends or co-workers. How often do we thank our house help or cab drivers? Many of us feel that paying them is more than enough.
My maid is a little rough around the edges and I have to teach her to say thank you when I give her a gift. I am not offended by her omission for I know she doesn’t know any better. She is learning to observe the niceties and surprised me the other day by wishing me Happy Christmas and shaking my hand!
Extension of courtesy
I first observed this extension of courtesy at restaurants in Europe. As soon as you walk in, you are greeted by the other customers, which is always a pleasant surprise. It puts you in a good mood and you find yourself returning the greeting with genuine warmth. So little effort is required to be courteous and it makes others feel respected.
One doesn’t have to show courtesy with just words. You can extend courtesy to others through your actions such as letting someone go ahead of you in a shop when you are standing in line at the cashier’s, especially if the person has only a few items.
Helping an elderly person cross a busy road or letting them cross the road while you are in your vehicle even if they seem to take an interminably long time to do so. Remembering someone’s name is also a way of showing you care. The ‘courtesy’ restaurant also has a special offer for the elderly for a month. Diners accompanied by an elderly person will get a flat discount on the total bill, equivalent to the age of the oldest person in the group.
Courtesy begets courtesy. At my last place of work in Dubai, I was happy to see that the office boys (actually men) who ran errands called everyone by their first name. It made them feel equal to all and fostered goodwill.
Bosses who treat their employees with respect gain in terms of loyalty and commitment. Everyone wants to be treated as if they matter and if you can make them feel like they are an integral part of your team, you will get the best from them.
Too often the opinions of employees are dismissed as not worth consideration and their input is seldom sought. Courtesy demands being sensitive to the feelings of others and allowing them to have a say, especially in matters that affect them. Courtesy is a great relationship builder, both in personal and professional life.
Being polite to strangers brightens their day and may inspire them to pass on the gesture to others. “Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.”
Vanaja Rao is a freelance writer based in Hyderabad, India
