Bring handful of moon dust: Kuwait imposes impossible conditions for relief loans
Journalist Al Jarallah discusses why Kuwait’s COVID-19 stimulus package did not work
Abu Dhabi: When the Kuwaiti government announced the stimulus package, the Kuwaitis rejoiced, and thought there will be a realistic vision to address the negative effects of the coronavirus crisis on the economic situation, and that soft loans will help business owners, and thus the national economy would not shrink, says Ahmed Al Jarallah, editor-in-chief of the Kuwaiti ‘Al Seyassah’ newspaper.
The stimulus package is just a slogan, and it seems that it will not take off.
“However, unfortunately, the Kuwaiti accounts did not match that of the Central Bank and other banks because the conditions set for obtaining loans need a caesarean section that is not guaranteed to give birth, so it turned into a government media puff, without achieving anything until today, while the stimulus package is just a slogan, and it seems that it will not take off. Rather, no one has received any amount that will enable it to face the huge losses caused by the lockdown of the country,” Al Jarallah adds.
Undoubtedly, the money that will be paid will return to the financial cycle in the country.
The central bank will pump money to the banks, which in turn will lend it for the borrowers who will spend it at home, meaning that it will eventually return to the central bank, if we simplify the process.
Unfortunately, with each new day, the percentage of non-performing investors rise, and therefore what will be revealed in the coming days is nothing more than a collapse of local projects and investments, and a decline in domestic product, which means, in short, adversely affecting Kuwait’s financial reputation internationally, and the potential downgrade of its rating with international financial institutions.
A borrower must bring the following documents and items: a feather from a tail of an ostrich lost in the Amazon jungle, a Hitler death certificate stamped by the Berlin municipality, and signed by Akhenaten, and a true copy of Ibn Battuta passport .......
Here we ask: Is this what the government seeks?
Al Jarrallah narrates an anecdote showing there have been miscarriages of coronavirus relief measures, caused by experts whose expertise is somewhat suspect, “The conditions set by the Kuwaiti government and the central bank for COVID-19 relief loans, are: “A borrower must bring the following documents and items: a feather from a tail of an ostrich lost in the Amazon jungle, a Hitler death certificate stamped by the Berlin municipality, and signed by Akhenaten, and a true copy of Ibn Battuta passport showing visas of the countries he visited, a molar of a diabetic and short-sighted hyena, a half kilogram of moon dust collected at the dawn of a sweltering summer day, the cell phone number of Pharaoh Ramses III, the phone number of his manager, a recent image of Cleopatra’s wedding, a copy of the marriage certificate of Romeo and Juliet, signed by a notary, who died 20 years ago, and a selfie of Tariq Bin Ziyad, the conqueror of Spain, against the backdrop of his burnt ships, when he told his army, “Either you will be victorious or martyred. There is no third choice.”
The applicant for a relief loan must also submit another photo of Tariq Bin Ziyad, when he conquered Andalusia, and a hair from the head of a blonde goat, whose hair made by the world’s absolute best hair stylist. Once the borrower collected all of documents, he must go to the nearest magician to approve them, and then present the documents to the authorities.
Look at the actions of the whole world
Al Jarallah said these near impossible conditions for offering relief loans contradict all relief plans of countries that pumped money into their economy and provided soft loans immediately to investors, and without all these next to impossible terms that were imposed in Kuwait, where the money is still trapped in the mentality of skepticism, obstruction, and subject to personal and electoral games.
After that, officials arrogantly pretend that the crisis did not impact the public money, while the investors who sought loans either declared bankruptcy, or their business declined, and they need even more funds to return to their previous situation, while the sword of prosecution is hanging over them.
Al Jarallah suggests, “Let the people in charge of this issue look at the actions of the whole world, in this regard, from the countries of the Cooperation Council to Russia, Japan, China, the United States of America, France, Britain, and even the African countries, and those with less income from Kuwait, how have they dealt with the crisis and helped the private sector. Indeed, even Some of them have paid salaries to citizens, but here we in Kuwait are still keenly interested in to see the light and reinventing the wheel.”
Al Jarallah concludes it’s better that 10 guilty men go free than one innocent man be wrongly convicted’, while in Kuwait the government and its financial institutions concerned with COVID-19 stimulus package go right in the opposite direction.